Following Boris Johnson’s announcement that oldthink words would now be banned, shares in correction fluid giant, Tittex, have gone through the roof.
Words that are now DoubleVerboten include; Brexit, Implementation Period, Ireland, No Deal, Partnership, No Irish Border, Money for the NHS, selling the NHS to the Americans, Nissan, spending promises, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Ireland again. Any references to these terms must now be ‘rectified’.
Fat Cat City workers are demanding that they should now only have to work part-time hours.
Traders, Big Wigs and other City types have complained that the long hours they work cause them to have insufficient time to spend all of their money, and they should now be allowed to work from 9.00 till 4.00 only.
A man from Dorset stood accused, by former friends, of having seriously impaired moral judgement. Colin Adams (52) confessed, that since he was divorced over a decade ago, he has maintained a joint life assurance policy which would pay out £500,000 in the event his diabetic alcoholic ex-wife did the decent thing and popped her clogs before the policy expires next year. Continue reading “Die you bitch, for f***s sake die”→