Tag: Corona Virus

Government ruse extends Cummings garden by 250 miles

Faced with allegations of double-standards, hypocrisy and one rule for the rich, the Government have moved heaven and earth to protect Dominic Cummings from further criticism.

Boris Johnson’s chief political adviser and close personal friend, undertook a 250-mile journey to Durham to dump his 4-year-old child with his ageing parents. Given that Dominic and his wife were likely to be Corona Virus positive, this journey broke the law he helped design.

Have you seen the state of my dhalia’s?

Quarantined footballer discovers a book

During the Corona Virus lockdown, many people have become bored watching TV, Netflix and endless YouTube videos. By happenchance, Manchester United’s star striker, Ian Napton, has discovered a book.

The incident occurred when his Chiropodist came around to pamper his tootsies. As she set up her oils and unguents, she took the book from her bag and placed it to one side.

But what happens next?

The Great Lockdown Escape Plan, featuring every Tom, Dick and Harry

The Government releases details of their Great Lockdown Escape. Every home will receive a vaulting horse, wood stove and shovel.

The Cooler King

In his occasional address to the nation, Boris Johnson says that the Government wouldn’t be able to get everyone out at once. Some of you will have to remain locked up in lockdown.

You vill not escape, Englisher

Making money is more important than lifesaving, says odious hedge fund manager

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has spoken out against “cheapshot journalism” following accusations that some financial firms have made money during extreme market volatility caused by the Coronavirus outbreak, while ordinary people struggle.

Day Trader selling the pound
Sell stock, then sell it again!

Hedge funds have been accused of raking in billions.

Anyone can look after a sick person but you can make money after a 6 course lunch?