Tag: Donald Trump

For Sale – The NHS, 63 Million previous users, good runner, needs TLC and cash

NHS Doctor

In this week’s classified section, following on from some recent interest from an American buyer, we are pleased to offer the NHS for sale.

As to the vehicle itself, it’s a bit of a classic, built in 1948 its designers took advantage of the post war enthusiasm for looking after each other. Unfortunately, over the years it has had some tough running. Many of its previous owners have not kept up the regular maintenance and as such the service history is a bit patchy. Continue reading “For Sale – The NHS, 63 Million previous users, good runner, needs TLC and cash”

Inside M25 declared a Milkshake free zone for Trump’s visit

Milkshake ban to protect Trump

The Met have declared that whilst Donald Trump is in town, the entire area inside the M25 is to be a Milkshake free zone.

They have confirmed this doesn’t only apply to Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla but any flavour of shake. Additionally anyone trying to get around the ban by freezing it and claiming it’s ice cream will be prosecuted. Continue reading “Inside M25 declared a Milkshake free zone for Trump’s visit”

The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (The: school/shopping centre/church/hospital/community centre) in (state/town/city)

Right-thinking members of the NRA are tonight sending their thoughts and prayers to the victims of America’s latest mass shooting(s) at (insert location/s)

Billy Bob Williams, on behalf of the NRA, immediately held a mentally ill person who would’ve done it anyway, responsible. And he was probably a Muslim, wasn’t he? Continue reading “The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (The: school/shopping centre/church/hospital/community centre) in (state/town/city)

Slaughter at Trump International Tower as shouts of “Yeehah” are mistaken for “Jihad”

Trump scandal

President Trump has been implicated in the suppression of yet another unfavourable news story. Details of the latest mass shooting, in the Land of the Free, were hushed up to protect Donald’s financial backers, the NRA.

Tragedy struck at Trump International Tower (TIT), Chicago. Demonstrations are commonplace outside El Presidente’s Penis so his Bulgarian security team are well prepared for any eventuality. Continue reading “Slaughter at Trump International Tower as shouts of “Yeehah” are mistaken for “Jihad””

Australian wins the 2010 Hide and Seek World Championship

Hide and Seek Champion

Finally a winner has been declared in the 2010 Hide and Seek, World Championships. The Gold Medal has been awarded to Julian from Australia.

Julian was philosophical about his win. “Obviously you train hard for this. There are long hours spent hiding under the bed or the living under the stairs. It’s serious practice and dedication to learn the art of creeping. I’ve lost track of how many nights I spent delivering boxes of Milk Tray to random women.Continue reading “Australian wins the 2010 Hide and Seek World Championship”

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