Tag: Donald Trump

Slaughter at Trump International Tower as shouts of “Yeehah” are mistaken for “Jihad”

Trump scandal

President Trump has been implicated in the suppression of yet another unfavourable news story. Details of the latest mass shooting, in the Land of the Free, were hushed up to protect Donald’s financial backers, the NRA.

Tragedy struck at Trump International Tower (TIT), Chicago. Demonstrations are commonplace outside El Presidente’s Penis so his Bulgarian security team are well prepared for any eventuality. Continue reading “Slaughter at Trump International Tower as shouts of “Yeehah” are mistaken for “Jihad””

Australian wins the 2010 Hide and Seek World Championship

Hide and Seek Champion

Finally a winner has been declared in the 2010 Hide and Seek, World Championships. The Gold Medal has been awarded to Julian from Australia.

Julian was philosophical about his win. “Obviously you train hard for this. There are long hours spent hiding under the bed or the living under the stairs. It’s serious practice and dedication to learn the art of creeping. I’ve lost track of how many nights I spent delivering boxes of Milk Tray to random women.Continue reading “Australian wins the 2010 Hide and Seek World Championship”

Francis Underwood called in to help Theresa May get her deal through

Francis Underwood

As John Bercow stops Theresa May from bringing her EU Withdrawal Bill back to the House of Commons, drastic action was called for. Step forward super schemer, Francis Underwood.

The Speaker ruled that the bill was not ‘sufficiently different’ from the previous two versions The House had already voted on. Consequently, Parliamentary Rules stop it from coming back to The House, again.
Continue reading “Francis Underwood called in to help Theresa May get her deal through”

Death penalty reprieve really annoys Donald Trump

Death Penalty

The Governor Of California, Gavin Newsom, has announced a moratorium on carrying out the death penalty. Thus providing a temporary reprieve for the more than 700 people, on the State’s death row.

A spokesman for the Governor, Ian Napton, said, “He thinks that killing people doesn’t really set the best example. You wouldn’t believe how incredibly expensive it is, so he’s  proposing to stop doing it. However, he’s asking if citizens could meet him halfway and stop killing one another, too, that would be lovely. Then there wouldn’t be newcomers clogging up his death row. It’s terribly busy.” Continue reading “Death penalty reprieve really annoys Donald Trump”

The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (The: school/shopping centre/church/hospital/community centre/workplace) in (state/town/city)

Right-thinking members of the NRA are tonight sending their thoughts and prayers to the victims of America’s latest mass shooting(s) at (insert location/s)

Billy Bob Williams, on behalf of the NRA, immediately held a mentally ill person who would’ve done it anyway, responsible. And he was probably a Muslim, wasn’t he? Continue reading “The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (The: school/shopping centre/church/hospital/community centre/workplace) in (state/town/city)

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