Tag: Drugs

Bristol top of the cocaine league for the second year running

Amazingly, Bristol has beaten off stiff competition from Paris, Amsterdam, Frankfurt and Rome to be crowned: The Cocaine Capital of Europe.

Competition judges toured Europe, before declaring Bristol City the winner.  The Italian Judge, Gianni Napatone, explained, “We ranked each city on: supply, purity, price and the likelihood of getting busted. Bristol came out top in all categories.

got this gear see! Smashing!

Parliament’s Kitchen accidentally used cocaine in the Spotted Dick

Members of the House of Commons have attracted severe criticism for their behaviour during the debate, following the ruling over the Government’s illegal use of its’ prerogative power.  

This led to a vitriolic debate, that lacked for sense, decency and basic respect. Concerned that even for this august institution the behaviour went too far, the Speaker ordered an investigation.

Raising agent, i’ll say, i’m as high as a kite!

Dr Who’s Tardis overrun by CBD Selling hipsters

A Glasgow-based Doctor Who internet nerd has become enraged that the TARDIS-style police telephone boxes around the city centre are now selling CBD.

Cormac Andrews (34 ½) complained on Doctor Who nerd Valhalla Gallifrey Base this week that he is now unable to go on his Sunday pilgrimage and take photos with these “TARDISes” because they are outfitted as vendors of legal Cannabis oil.

Puff Puff!

The Tory leadership race – brought to you by Coke

Members of the Conservative Party have set out on the task to decide which Leadership candidate’s drug habit will be most valuable in identifying the right man or woman to become Prime Minister and get us out of the beastly EU.

Michael Gove has admitted to taking cocaine at social events “whilst a young journalist.” Boris Johnson has admitted to “being given coke at a party, but I didn’t take it.” Dominic Raab believes in a “second chance society.” Well he would. He has a cannabis history. Rory Stewart is a cannabis and opium man, too. Continue reading “The Tory leadership race – brought to you by Coke”