Tag: Economy

TSB to improve customer service by closing their branches

In a radical shift of strategy, the TSB is to improve its customer service by closing their branches.

Recently the troubled bank has beaten off some stiff competition from their rivals in order to produce the worst customer service in banking. Which? commented, “That takes some doing”.

TSB, the bank that likes to say ‘Your on your own, mate!”

The Pound achieves parity with The Peanut

In a historic day for Britain’s finances The Pound achieved parity with The Peanut. The Governments devaluation strategy, using the Brexit mechanism, has worked. This morning The Pound plummeted past The Euro and The Banana before settling at one Peanut.

The Government claim this is a fantastic opportunity for their friends to trade peanuts, many had already short sold The Pound and filled their bird feeders.

More from The Organ Grinder

Part-Time Coin Tosser out performs Deutsche Bank traders

A part-time, just-for-fun shares trader pissed himself with laughter today as it emerged Deutsche Bank are sacking the professionals they employed to do the same job.

Ian Napton, a complete guesser who grew up in the Surrey Stockbroker Belt, told us, “Shares are either going to go up or down, aren’t they? It’s a fifty/fifty guess. You don’t need an Economics degree to work that out. I toss my lucky coin, heads for up, tails for down, and bet accordingly. I made £22 today.”

The Puppy of Wall Street

Major international row breaks out over Fukall

A major diplomatic contre temps has broken out over the disputed territory of Fukall*. Situated in the Atlantic, some 260 miles west of The Western Isles the uninhabitable volcanic rocky island is at the centre of an almighty row about Fukall.

Originally the dispute over Fukall started in 1955, when Britain claimed the territory as their own. This was challenged by Ireland, Denmark and Iceland all of whom felt they had a better claim to Fukall.

Continue reading “Major international row breaks out over Fukall”

Billionaire businessman wins compensation from HMRC after getting a tax bill

A Billionaire businessman’s accountants win £25,000 after appealing against a personal tax bill of £37.50.

Ian Napton trousers £25,000 from HMRC by way of apology for any inconvenience the tax demand caused.  The accounting error occurred when one of the Office Junior’s forgot to carry the three. Continue reading “Billionaire businessman wins compensation from HMRC after getting a tax bill”