For the fortieth year running, education chiefs have announced that A Level and GCSE exam pass rates have increased yet again.
The A Level pass rate is now up to 94.5689% and the GCSE pass rate sits at 92.456128%.
The annual increase in exam pass rates has become a cause for some controversy as older people fail to understand that every year the intelligence of pupils and ability of teachers increases. Continue reading “Once again A Level results are the best ever”
Negotiators have been drafted in, following a child’s heartfelt appeal to divorce her parents.
In an extraordinary turn of events, Brabantia-Dragonflower Napton felt compelled to initiate proceedings, when her parents refused to allow her to eat a ham sandwich, at the school picnic. Continue reading “Brabantia-Dragonflower to divorce her parents following ham sandwich row”
A Highgate headteacher is under fire, for ‘adopting a hard, conventionalist line’, following his decision to ‘label’ a six-year-old pupil, as ‘not expected to reach the minimum standard’, in her year two SATs.
With media controversy already raging over the statutory tests, Mr Targett is alleged to have ‘demoralised a misunderstood and artistic soul.’ Continue reading “Hipperatti couple are disappointed that Brabantia’s unique talents weren’t recognised in her SATs”
Once more the world asks the question; What is art?
As the celebrated graffiti artist Wanksy sees his latest piece sold to a private buyer for a sum that would allow most people to retire in comfort. Continue reading “Wanksy’s latest piece of graffito sells for £1.3 million”
A controversial decision, relating to a school summer sports day, has vexed an enlightened vegan couple.
Having successfully won their campaign to ban competitive children’s events, Olivia and Leaf Napton were outraged to discover the annual non-gendered Ovoid and Spoon race had been cancelled too. Continue reading “Woke parents disappointed following cancellation of the non-gendered carers Ovoid and Spoon race at non-competitive sports day”
Cricket, often considered an elitist sport has now become so diversified that a former state school pupil has joined the national team, albeit as Waterboy.
In order to broaden the games appeal, the ECB have allowed a non-Public School boy to become associated with the team. The appointment of Ian Napton, formerly of Knappers Comprehensive, Birmingham, marks a significant attitudinal change within the cricket establishment.
Continue reading “Controversy as ex-state school pupil joins England Cricket as Waterboy”