Police were called to free a Mr Softee salesman, after he was trapped in his van by an angry mob.
Nigel Farage was selling his Mr Softee ice-cream, outside Rochester Castle when he was besieged by angry protesters, waving milkshakes. Apparently, the crowd had mistaken him for a politician doing a publicity stunt. Continue reading “Farage trapped in his Mr Softee Van by milkshake wielding mob”
A milkshake is being treated for post traumatic shock, after it inadvertently became covered in fascist.
Whilst going about it’s daily routine, the Newcastle milkshake unwittingly became embroiled in a street altercation, as part of a protest against an individual, purporting to be a politician. Continue reading “Milkshake suffers PTSD after being covered in fascist”
The latest Brexit delay finally produces something our politicians can agree on, six weeks in Provence during the summer is eminently agreeable.
Members of the ERG, moderate Tories, Lib Dems, the Scottish lot and even The Speaker rushed online in the middle of the night to secure their preferred gite and ferry crossings as the Brexit deadline was extended to 31 October. Labour members booked their usual week in Scarborough.
Continue reading “Delay to Brexit allow’s politicians to have their summer holiday in peace”
Great Britain has been bought on eBay for £10.50, by a Mr D Trump of Orange County, Florider.
The Advert read; For Sale; One country, slightly soiled, leans a bit to the right, dodgy runner. Feels a bit unloved and uncared for. She was an absolute stunner in her day. One careful lady owner for the last 65 years and a shit one for three. Nice retirement project for a handy pensioner who can fix things. Buyer collects. Continue reading “For Sale; Britain, one careful lady owner and a sh*t one”
The new MP for St Mary Mead, the fictional setting of many of Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple novels, has set out a bold new platform on which he aims to catapult himself into the heart of the ongoing Brexit negotiations.
Mr Colin Woolderson, who has held the seat since 1893, when he won it in a game of Gin Rummy, announced his plans to the Chipping Cleghorn Gazette, “I have spoken to many of my constituents and what they want is much much less murder. After that, they’d like to maybe get rid of that nosy old bag who’s always poking around. Finally, we think it’s high time we decided what kind of Brexit we want.” Continue reading “Miss Marple’s MP makes daring bid to lead Brexit negotiations”
The EU has become frustrated at Britain’s repeated request for Brexit extensions. Donald Tusk’s stole the Prime Minister’s headlines by suggesting a flextension, Not to be outdone, Theresa May has come up with a cunning plan of her own. Brexit is to be delayed until tomorrow. Continue reading “Brexit has been delayed until tomorrow”