Jacob Rees-Mogg has been unexpectedly cast as the latest Bond villain.
The producers decided a proper actor was not required, believing a real life ‘baddie’ would be both, scarier and more authenticate to audiences.
Continue reading “Jacob Rees-Mogg to star as the Baddie in the next Bond film”
In the wake of hugely productive talks over the creation of an unfathomably brilliant 48-team World Cup, allowing space for sporting giants such as Azerbaijan, Lithuania and Bhutan, plans are afoot for a further expansion of the European Championships.
UEFA press guru, Dr Darren Devine, was on hand to unveil the scheme; “In 2016 we took a crucial step forward, moving from 16 to 24 teams. It’s only logical now that we move to the next stage in our evolution – 54 teams.” Continue reading “Euro 2020 allows useless teams in but there’s still no room for Scotland”
Fully a week before April Fool’s Day, Grayling Airways surprised their passengers today by landing a plane in the wrong country and welcoming passengers to their unintended destination.
Eyebrows were quickly raised after touchdown when a Grayling aircraft with call sign G-OHNO taxied towards the terminal at Edinburgh Airport and a large “Welcome to Edinburgh” sign hoved into view. Continue reading “Grayling Airways flight to Dusseldorf lands at Edinburgh Airport”
Thursday evening saw Scottish football write yet another chapter in its long and illustrious footballing history as they kicked off their Euro 2020 Qualification Campaign away in Kazakhstan.
Despite having a squad decimated by as many as three injuries, the Scots named a (relatively) strong team for the Euro 2020 qualifier and, according to boss Alex McLeish, “started brightly”. It’s hard to argue with that contention when the match stats clearly show the away team held their hosts at a creditable 0-0 for almost six entire minutes. Continue reading “Scotland off to a flyer as they start their exit from Euro 2020”
A Pro Brexit public protest has received massive, and unexpected support, from millions of people in the North West.
Brexiteers arranged a ‘Go Slow’ on the M62. The idea is that they would form up into lines, across the carriage way and drive along at a steady forty miles an hour, thereby holding up all the traffic. This was supposed to send a signal to Parliament that ‘The People’ would not tolerate a delay to Brexit. Continue reading “Pro Brexit ‘Go Slow’ protest on the M62 backfires as journey times speed up”
Amazingly, Bristol has beaten off stiff competition from Paris, Amsterdam, Frankfurt and Rome to be crowned: The Cocaine Capital of Europe.
Competition judges toured Europe, before declaring Bristol the winner. The Italian Judge, Gianni Napatone, explained, “We ranked each city on: supply, purity, price and the likelihood of getting busted. Bristol came out top in all categories. Continue reading “Bristol is crowned the cocaine capital of Europe”