Tag: Europe

Man Turns Into Chlorinated Superhero

County Councils and privately run fitness centres across the UK are cock-a-hoop about the discovery of Brian Douglas turning into a superhero from consuming large amounts of imported American chlorinated chicken. 

Chlorine washed chicken, just the way mamma made it
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Super Chlorine Man!

Bristol top of the cocaine league for the second year running

Amazingly, Bristol has beaten off stiff competition from Paris, Amsterdam, Frankfurt and Rome to be crowned: The Cocaine Capital of Europe.

Competition judges toured Europe, before declaring Bristol City the winner.  The Italian Judge, Gianni Napatone, explained, “We ranked each city on: supply, purity, price and the likelihood of getting busted. Bristol came out top in all categories.

got this gear see! Smashing!

ERG announce they have finally finished their study into Europe

The European Research Group has announced the completion of their 3-year, £250,000 Government funded, study into Europe, all of it.

Project Leader and Chief Scientist, Professor Jacob Rees-Mogg, was suitably delighted at the successful completion of his academic paper. “We are delighted to reveal that after a series of studies, experiments and visits we can confirm that Europe is exactly what we thought it was in the first place. It’s full of Johnnie Foreigners.”

sODOMY NON SAPIENS!

Ryan Air pilots plan to ruin summer by flying planes as scheduled

Ryan Air Pilots have pledged to ruin summer for millions of travellers as part of their ongoing industrial dispute with management. The Pilots plan to run a full service, on time and with as little disruption as possible.

A distraught father of four, Ian Napton, “This is a disaster. I booked tickets with Ryan Air because I thought the flight would end up being cancelled. I haven’t even booked a hotel in Alicante, there didn’t seem any point.”

Were all going on a summer holiday!