Tag: Facebook

All Social Media posts will have to be ‘Police Approved’

Approved for use on Social Media

As the right to be offended brigade swings into action the Government has announced that all Social Media posts require Police approval. The increasing number of people who have become upset after seeing something on the Internet has reached epidemic proportions.  

In order to meet the additional workload, The Police Service are diverting officers from proper police work, like catching; TV Licence dodgers, speeding footballers, Wetherspoon drinkers and the homeless. Now they will ensure that no-one is in the least bit offended by some asinine comment posted on social media.

go on, You know you want to!

Teenage trauma as Granny posts unfiltered photos on Social Media

Social media faux pas

A West London teenager is suffering from mild shock, after discovering that her Grandmother had posted a photo of her on social media, without any filters.

Traumatised, Sienna Napton informed us she felt ‘humiliated and violated’, upon the ‘horrendous realisation’, that she had been tagged in a family portrait on Facebook. Continue reading “Teenage trauma as Granny posts unfiltered photos on Social Media”

Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists

Old Golfers

Golfer, Ian Napton, has moved from his local club since discovering his playing partners are Facebook racists.

The trouble started when his grandchildren persuaded him to join Facebook. It was all very exciting, his golf mates were regular users and they were soon following each other. They shared jokes, news and posts. Continue reading “Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists”

National Psychic Association warns of the danger of fake psychics

Psychic Crystal Ball

The National Association of Seers, Psychics and Mediums (NASPAM), has asked everyone to be on the lookout for fake psychics. Their ‘I Saw You Coming’ report highlights cases where people in great emotional need have been fleeced by predatory, unregistered, con artists.

If you’re concerned your psychic may not be real, and you want to hand over your money to properly accredited fleecers, you should only use NASPAM registered mediums. Continue reading “National Psychic Association warns of the danger of fake psychics”

Britannia Updates her Facebook Relationship status to ‘It’s Complicated’

After a rather difficult weekend, Britannia has updated her Facebook relationship status to, ‘It’s Complicated’.

As the on/off relationship with her sexy European Pen-Pal, Jean-Claude Schmidt, comes to an inglorious and messy end, Britannia has gone on one disastrous date after another.  Continue reading “Britannia Updates her Facebook Relationship status to ‘It’s Complicated’”

Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas

NHS 111 was on red alert last night, after experiencing high call volumes, from teenagers suffering with mysterious ailments.

Ageing relatives insisting on WiFi lockdown, to play ‘good old fashioned’ festive games, is thought to have created panic and shock like symptoms amongst the youth. Continue reading “Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas”

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