There have been calls for an inquiry as, this year, Mother’s Day marks the change to British Summer Time with the clocks springing forward, on 31 March 2019.
Whilst the clocks go forward on the last Sunday of March every year, this time the last Sunday of March coincides with Mothering Sunday. Continue reading “Mother’s Day is an hour shorter this year and mums aren’t happy about it”
Contention in a Camberwell cafe escalated, when a thirty-something confessed that she had ‘absolutely zero desire’ to propagate the planet.
Speaking passionately amongst shocked peers and their offspring, Olivia Napton disclosed, ‘the only clock ticking in my body, is the one which is synchronised with last orders at the bar.’ Continue reading “Me? Have kids? You must be f**king joking”
Bewildered marriage guidance counsellors, were forced to return customer’s money, admitting that men and women really are from different planets.
With the ‘new man’ allegedly stepping up to the plate, psychologists initially aspired to bridge the chasm in marital communication. Researching how each sex felt their emotional needs were best met, psychologists quickly found a raging gulf between view points.
Continue reading “As psychologists prove men and women are not meant to live together, Marriage Guidance counsellors offer a full refund”
Scientists have unveiled an algorithm relating to men, which plots the converse law of need, verses availability, in times of urgency.
Dubbed the McPhee paper, extensive research into male behaviour patterns, suggested that the greater the severity of the family crisis, the least likely they are to be contactable. Continue reading “Scientists prove that when mummy needs some help around the house, daddy’s bound to have buggered off again”
Generation teen have been commended, for their ongoing contribution to the community.
Special thanks goes to their passionate use of raucous vocabulary, as it ensures that everyone within a mile radius can feel included in their conversation. Seeing adolescent romance played out at the bus-stop, has been likened to viewing modern Shakespeare. One drama fan, Gillian Napton mused, ‘’Hearing such lively banter after a long shift, is the highlight of my day. ’’
Continue reading “Generation Teen win praise for their valuable contribution to our community, not”
Extensive medical research into male hearing, has left many women slightly unsurprised but bitterly disappointed nevertheless.
Studies confirm the hypothesis that hearing in men is indeed selective, or more commonly known as, ‘cocking a deafen.’ Continue reading “Science confirms men can’t listen to women talking”