Tag: Family

Grandad sent to a home after buying a copy of The Daily Mail

The Napton family has come to the sad realisation that it was time for Grandad to go into a home.

The trouble started when Grandad went to the local shop for a packet of Werthers Originals and came back with a copy of the Daily Mail. The embarrassed family immediately called an emergency meeting. After a quick chat, they decided that, even though he was only 58, it was time for him to go into a home. Grandma was delighted.

The Daily Mail, really? Oh! Grandad, How could you?

Doctor confirms patient doesn’t have dementia, he’s just thick

Ian Napton (57) visited his Doctor after friends, family and work colleagues became worried about his declining mental health. Concerns were raised after he announced he had voted for Brexit, which surprised many, including his French wife Gillian.

They decided to keep a close eye on him and soon started noticing small but significant changes in Ian’s behaviour. He seemed unable to follow simple instructions, operate the hoover, make a cup of tea, or remember it was his round. He was confused by simple TV programmes such as Colombo, Strictly and Britain’s Got Talent.

wHAT’S GOING ON?

Weekend ruined after two mates meet up for ‘a quick one’

Ian Napton hadn’t seen his mate Andy for a while, so they agreed to meet for ‘a quick one’ after work. Both assured family, friends and work colleagues that they’d just meet up for an hour, have a couple of pints befroe heading home to enjoy a busy weekend with their families.

Gillian Napton takes up the story “They turned up at four in the morning, completely legless. Ian was hungry so he tried to make cheese on toast, he ruined the grill, trashed the kitchen and set off the fire alarm. The prats then fell asleep watching Bullseye re-runs. If he says, ‘Here’s what you would have won!’ one more time I’ll swing for him. A quick one my arse! they’ve spoiled the whole family’s weekend.”

Chin! Chin!

After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up

After everyone told Ian Napton that his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ he has taken the practical decision to respect their opinion and just give up.

“Look, everyone told me my wedding day was ‘The Best Day of My Life’, and yes, it was a good one. There’s no doubt about it, it was a corker. I realised that if that was as good as it gets then, what’s the point? I may as well not bother. So, I decided to crack open a beer, put my feet up and watch Netflix.”

Continue reading “After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up”

Teenage trauma as Granny posts unfiltered photos on Social Media

A West London teenager is suffering from mild shock, after discovering that her Grandmother had posted a photo of her on social media, without any filters.

Traumatised, Sienna Napton informed us she felt ‘humiliated and violated’, upon the ‘horrendous realisation’, that she had been tagged in a family portrait on Facebook. Continue reading “Teenage trauma as Granny posts unfiltered photos on Social Media”