After everyone told Ian Napton that his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ he has taken the practical decision to respect their opinion and just give up.
“Look, everyone told me my wedding day was ‘The Best Day of My Life’, and yes, it was a good one. There’s no doubt about it, it was a corker. I realised that if that was as good as it gets then, what’s the point? I may as well not bother. So, I decided to crack open a beer, put my feet up and watch Netflix.”
Continue reading “After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up”
A West London teenager is suffering from mild shock, after discovering that her Grandmother had posted a photo of her on social media, without any filters.
Traumatised, Sienna Napton informed us she felt ‘humiliated and violated’, upon the ‘horrendous realisation’, that she had been tagged in a family portrait on Facebook. Continue reading “Teenage trauma as Granny posts unfiltered photos on Social Media”
There have been calls for an inquiry as, this year, Mother’s Day marks the change to British Summer Time with the clocks springing forward, on 31 March 2019.
Whilst the clocks go forward on the last Sunday of March every year, this time the last Sunday of March coincides with Mothering Sunday. Continue reading “Mother’s Day is an hour shorter this year and mums aren’t happy about it”
Contention in a Camberwell cafe escalated, when a thirty-something confessed that she had ‘absolutely zero desire’ to propagate the planet.
Speaking passionately amongst shocked peers and their offspring, Olivia Napton disclosed, ‘the only clock ticking in my body, is the one which is synchronised with last orders at the bar.’ Continue reading “Me? Have kids? You must be f**king joking”
Bewildered marriage guidance counsellors, were forced to return customer’s money, admitting that men and women really are from different planets.
With the ‘new man’ allegedly stepping up to the plate, psychologists initially aspired to bridge the chasm in marital communication. Researching how each sex felt their emotional needs were best met, psychologists quickly found a raging gulf between view points.
Continue reading “As psychologists prove men and women are not meant to live together, Marriage Guidance counsellors offer a full refund”
Scientists have unveiled an algorithm relating to men, which plots the converse law of need, verses availability, in times of urgency.
Dubbed the McPhee paper, extensive research into male behaviour patterns, suggested that the greater the severity of the family crisis, the least likely they are to be contactable. Continue reading “Scientists prove that when mummy needs some help around the house, daddy’s bound to have buggered off again”