“Well, what a night for the Brexit Party. A party which didn’t even exist two years ago and won’t exist any more in a few weeks’ time.
This is the greatest of victories. We may have no seats but we’ve polled nearly three million votes across the country and we’ve had a couple of almost seconds, several fourths and an honourable mention in Rochester. Clearly we are in tune with the British people.
I can hear her Maj saying ‘Arise Sir Nigel De Kent’
As Nigel Farage sees his glittering career finally come to end with a Knighthood and his dearly beloved Brexit, he has decided to release his autobiography.
i AM SIMPLY DELIGHTED WITH THE WAY THINGS HAVE TURNED OUT
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Brexit Party caused up an upset in the adult round of the children’s game of Statues.
Held in Strasbourg, the latest round featured teams from all over Europe. The Germans were heavy favourites to win, although their recent form has been a little shaky.
The plucky Brexit Party signalled their intent when they entered the arena, holding hands. Initially, this seemed to be a demonstration of solidarity, although it turned out that it was to stop several of the squad wandering off in a demented haze.
More on this National Embarrassment
Police were called to free a Mr Softee salesman, after he was trapped in his van by an angry mob.
Nigel Farage was selling his Mr Softee ice-cream, outside Rochester Castle when he was besieged by angry protesters, waving milkshakes. Apparently, the crowd had mistaken him for a politician doing a publicity stunt. Continue reading “Farage trapped in his Mr Softee Van by milkshake wielding mob”
The Prime Minster has chaired a meeting of the COBRA emergency committee to address the new danger in frontline British politics, Milkshake.
Continue reading “COBRA authorises Grayling to spend millions on anti-Milkshake measures”