Toshitone Ltd has been valued, by The City, at £100 billion pounds. Investors are queuing up to give their money to the innovative car company, at its stock market launch.
Having revolutionised the funeral business, with their self driving hearses, and cornered the automated Pizza and Cocaine delivery market, things are on the up for the company. Continue reading “Toshitone Ltd has a stock market value of £100 Billion but hasn’t made a profit in 10 years”
Number 10 has confirmed the Prime Minister chaired a meeting of the Cobra Emergency Committee this morning after reports that a Financial Services worker, unable to commute into London due to snow, ran perilously low on teabags whilst working at home. Continue reading “Emergency COBRA meeting called after a snowbound man was down to his last two tea-bags”
A man from Dorset stood accused, by former friends, of having seriously impaired moral judgement. Colin Adams (52) confessed, that since he was divorced over a decade ago, he has maintained a joint life assurance policy which would pay out £500,000 in the event his diabetic alcoholic ex-wife did the decent thing and popped her clogs before the policy expires next year. Continue reading “Die you bitch, for f***s sake die”