Tag: Football

La Liga offer counselling to victims of Messi

Following another season, where Lionel Messi, the World’s greatest football player, destroyed opponents with outrageous displays of skill, La Liga has offered to provide counselling for distraught players.

Oh! Did you see that?

Man United crash out of the UEFA LDV Vans Coca-Cola Shield

United’s Disappointment

So United have crashed out of the European equivalent of the Price is Right. There’ll be no bonus prizes this time, they haven’t even been able to hang on to the £100 Argos voucher, being dumped out without even getting the chance to answer their double points bonus question on the works of William Shakespeare.

Shame, hard luck, it’s the taking part that matters!

Political transfer market is open for business

A football-style transfer market has been suggested for politicians, some of whom are looking nervously over their shoulders.

The well-known cock-up artist and habitual liar, Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of Great Britain, leads the free transfer market, as no other country, not even America, is willing to take him off Britain’s hands.

Do i hear £20 and lick of my lolly for Boris?

Quarantined footballer discovers a book

During the Corona Virus lockdown, many people have become bored watching TV, Netflix and endless YouTube videos. By happenchance, Manchester United’s star striker, Ian Napton, has discovered a book.

The incident occurred when his Chiropodist came around to pamper his tootsies. As she set up her oils and unguents, she took the book from her bag and placed it to one side.

But what happens next?