Tag: Football

Carabao Cup draw takes place in the Morrisons soft drinks aisle

Carabao Cup Drawn in Morrisons

A controversial venue choice has led to bitter outrage and furious condemnation for the organisers of the Rumbelows Coca-Cola Littlewoods Challenge Over-sugared Carabao Soft Drink Championship. The draw for Round 1 of the trophy (which led to such mouth-watering pairings as Grimsby v Doncaster and Blackpool v Macclesfield) took place in the Colindale branch of Morrison’s on Thursday evening.

and next out Accrington Stanley

After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up

Is this as good as it gets?

After everyone told Ian Napton that his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ he has taken the practical decision to respect their opinion and just give up.

“Look, everyone told me my wedding day was ‘The Best Day of My Life’, and yes, it was a good one. There’s no doubt about it, it was a corker. I realised that if that was as good as it gets then, what’s the point? I may as well not bother. So, I decided to crack open a beer, put my feet up and watch Netflix.”

Continue reading “After finding out his wedding day was ‘The Best Day of His Life’ Groom gives up”

Champions League Final nearly as exciting as Bolton v Tadcaster in 1999

Champions League Final

It may be a contentious assertion, but several media personalities have stepped forward already to dub Liverpool’s nail-biting 2-0 triumph over Spurs (yes, those guys) in the Champions League Final (no, really, the Champions League Final) the greatest final in the history of the competition.

One popular Welsh pundit, Mr T. Pulis, gave his views, “It was remarkable, Liverpool had a pass completion rate after half time of 59%, even at my peak with Stoke, playing a midfield of Rory Delap and a bit of scaffolding, we could barely get it below 60, amazing stuff.” Continue reading “Champions League Final nearly as exciting as Bolton v Tadcaster in 1999”

Googlesoft reveal Britain’s most common password is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’

Googlesoft password Runbyc*%ts!

Googlesoft have revealed Britain’s most common, and easily  guessable password. The winner is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’ which is being used by over 69% of IT users. 

The tech guys claim that using easily recognisable passwords makes it simple for hackers to gather personal data for nefarious purposes. They would like to point out that this is their job. Continue reading “Googlesoft reveal Britain’s most common password is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’”

Footballer who has never seen Fawlty Towers escapes punishment

Footballer appearing to summon a waiter

A Social Media storm erupted after it emerged that a Professional Footballer did not know what ‘Fawlty Towers’ was. The incident happened when the Crystal Palace goalkeeper inadvertently mocked Basil Fawlty, the hapless hero of the cult TV series, Fawlty Towers.

The matter has been referred to the Football Association disciplinary panel.
Continue reading “Footballer who has never seen Fawlty Towers escapes punishment”

Architectural award goes to a field covered in tarmac

Architectural award for tarmac covered field

Consternation in Eastbourne as an exciting new arts and theatre complex wins the countries top architectural prize. The award of The Napton, given to the new building or installation that best exemplifies use of material and space in a contemporary setting; is seen as a major endorsement of the council’s controversial £320 Million cultural hub project. 

However, critics, Philistines and other illiterati, claim this is the council wasting the people’s money, once again. There was much local opposition to the Mayor’s vanity project. Continue reading “Architectural award goes to a field covered in tarmac”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd