Tag: Golf

Donald Trump Opens A New Hotel And Golf Course – On The Moon

The news comes after Mr Trump announced through his official channel – Twitter – that he is planning on opening the Trump Intergalactic Luxury Collection Resort and Golf Course on Earth’s Moon in January of 2020.

“Yeah, sure, we know it’s an ambitious project, but the Russians have had a Moonbase for, like, years, and Apple has one, and the Pope has one, so I want a hotel. And a golf course. That’s not a lot to ask”

Fore! Fore!

President is inept claims Ambassador but Trump says he’s never been there!

Donald Trump has responded to accusations, contained in an email sent by Britain’s top diplomat, that he is inept.

In a tweet, The President explained that he wasn’t in Ept, furthermore he had never been to Ept, he’d never heard of Ept and it was the last place he would ever ‘fuckin’’ go, he doesn’t even like pyramids. Before adding that this appears to be more Fake News, designed to put him ‘in Dutch’ with his wife.

Fake News, fAKE nEWS screams baby

Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists

Golfer, Ian Napton, has moved from his local club since discovering his playing partners are Facebook racists.

The trouble started when his grandchildren persuaded him to join Facebook. It was all very exciting, his golf mates were regular users and they were soon following each other. They shared jokes, news and posts. Continue reading “Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists”

Facial recognition system fails to identify MPs, Lawyers & Estate Agents second face

Following installation at major airports, train stations and ports, concerns have been raised at the higher than expected rate of recognition failure in automated face-reader security systems.

The system has a 99.9% success rate when analysing faces from any cultural or racial background and in various light settings. Initially the operators of the system were puzzled as to why a distinct group of people were being rejected by the scanners. Continue reading “Facial recognition system fails to identify MPs, Lawyers & Estate Agents second face”

Dave Moses wins ‘Dad of The Year’ after babysitting his own kids

Glowing tributes poured in yesterday, for Dave Moses, after achieving the auspicious accolade of Dad of the Year, at the Dead Duck pub, New Morden.

With rose petals falling at his feet, Dave shared his inspirational experiences boasting, ‘‘At least once a month I babysit the kids, so my missus can do the weekly shop in peace.’’ He went on to say, ‘‘There’s nothing she loves more than, wandering the aisles, deciding what to cook for dinner.’Continue reading “Dave Moses wins ‘Dad of The Year’ after babysitting his own kids”