Tag: Golf

Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists

Old Golfers

Golfer, Ian Napton, has moved from his local club since discovering his playing partners are Facebook racists.

The trouble started when his grandchildren persuaded him to join Facebook. It was all very exciting, his golf mates were regular users and they were soon following each other. They shared jokes, news and posts. Continue reading “Grandad moves golf club after finding out his mates are Facebook racists”

Facial recognition system fails to identify MPs, Lawyers & Estate Agents second face

facial recognition software

Following installation at major airports, train stations and ports, concerns have been raised at the higher than expected rate of recognition failure in automated face-reader security systems.

The system has a 99.9% success rate when analysing faces from any cultural or racial background and in various light settings. Initially the operators of the system were puzzled as to why a distinct group of people were being rejected by the scanners. Continue reading “Facial recognition system fails to identify MPs, Lawyers & Estate Agents second face”

Dave Moses wins ‘Dad of The Year’ after babysitting his own kids

Glowing tributes poured in yesterday, for Dave Moses, after achieving the auspicious accolade of Dad of the Year, at the Dead Duck pub, New Morden.

With rose petals falling at his feet, Dave shared his inspirational experiences boasting, ‘‘At least once a month I babysit the kids, so my missus can do the weekly shop in peace.’’ He went on to say, ‘‘There’s nothing she loves more than, wandering the aisles, deciding what to cook for dinner.’Continue reading “Dave Moses wins ‘Dad of The Year’ after babysitting his own kids”

Little Englanders demand golf respects the views of Brexit and stops including bloody foreigners in the Ryder Cup

Little Englanders, such as Naughty Nigel, Bonking Boris, Mad Michael and Jolly Jakes believe Brexit means Brexit. Now the Little Englanders have gone full gammon after seeing the EU Flags flying during the Ryder Cup. They want golf to respect the views of all Brexiteers and bin all them damn foreigners.

Interviewed in the Brussels sponsored EU Corporate Entertainment suite at the Ryder Cup, Naughty Nigel wanted to know what the golfing authorities thought they were doing including foreigners on the same team as England and Norn Ireland. Continue reading “Little Englanders demand golf respects the views of Brexit and stops including bloody foreigners in the Ryder Cup”

The Golf Game of the Century – What really happened when Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump

At their recent summit Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump in the century’s greatest ever golf match. In this battle, between two egotistical tyrants, one fluffed drive could result in a nuclear strike. World peace was at stake, and death stalked the practice ground. Continue reading “The Golf Game of the Century – What really happened when Kim Jong Un took on Donald Trump”

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