Tag: Government

Corona Virus outbreak means we can all stop hugging each other

Millions of Brits are secretly relieved that the outbreak of the Corona Virus means they can stop hugging people they barely know.

For the last twenty years the British people have been sharing a series of ever more complex bear hugs. This unnatural invasion of personal space has left millions of people feeling, dirty, confused and exceedingly uncomfortable.

Just a simple doff of the cap is all you need

Boris confirms all manifesto promises are affordable as Chris Grayling isn’t in the Cabinet

The country breathed a collective sigh of relief after discovering that Chris Grayling is not in the cabinet.

As Boris Johnson settles back into life at Downing Street he revealed his new cabinet. There was widespread joy after it was clear that Chris Grayling has not been offered a position within it.

“THE Man’s an idiot and I should know” says Boris