Tag: Grayling

Bozo withdraws from Tory leadership race after Chris Grayling pledges his full support

Boris beaten off

Boris Johnson has withdrawn from the Tory Leadership campaign, after winning unequivocal endorsement from Chris Grayling.

Political pundits were surprised by Mr Grayling’s decision to support Boris. “At first we thought he was joking, perhaps he’d meant to announce his candidature but had somehow gotten it wrong again. However, it appears not, he was genuine.” said one. Continue reading “Bozo withdraws from Tory leadership race after Chris Grayling pledges his full support”

Googlesoft reveal Britain’s most common password is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’

Googlesoft password Runbyc*%ts!

Googlesoft have revealed Britain’s most common, and easily  guessable password. The winner is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’ which is being used by over 69% of IT users. 

The tech guys claim that using easily recognisable passwords makes it simple for hackers to gather personal data for nefarious purposes. They would like to point out that this is their job. Continue reading “Googlesoft reveal Britain’s most common password is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’”

Grayling Airways flight to Dusseldorf lands at Edinburgh Airport

Edinburgh Airport

Fully a week before April Fool’s Day, Grayling Airways surprised their passengers today by landing a plane in the wrong country and welcoming passengers to their unintended destination.

Eyebrows were quickly raised after touchdown when a Grayling aircraft with call sign G-OHNO taxied towards the terminal at Edinburgh Airport and a large “Welcome to Edinburgh” sign hoved into view. Continue reading “Grayling Airways flight to Dusseldorf lands at Edinburgh Airport”

Chris Grayling accidently awards the £33 million freight handling contract to Thomas the Tank and The Fat Controller

Fat contract added to The Fat Controller

Last week the Department of Transport publicly admitted they’d made a mess of post Brexit freight handling plans. Many were puzzled as to why the breakdown of the freight contract with a ferry company with no boats, should result in the need to pay £33 million to Eurotunnel, a train operator but hey! that’s politics for you.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse for Chris Grayling, Transport Secretary, it’s transpired that following an administrative mix up, the £33 million contract was given to Island of Sodoff Railways rather than Eurotunnel. Continue reading “Chris Grayling accidently awards the £33 million freight handling contract to Thomas the Tank and The Fat Controller”

The status of the latest winter storm has been upgraded to catastrophic and renamed Storm Grayling

Devastation as Storm Grayling causes chaos

This weeks winter Atlantic storm, was originally named Freya and it was expected to bring a sense of mild depression, together with bouts of heavy rain and high winds to all parts of the UK.

Unfortunately, the low pressure at the centre of the storm, has deepened, bring risk of substantial and prolonged depression to all areas of the country. With the increase in storm severity, it has been upgraded to catastrophic and renamed Storm Grayling. Continue reading “The status of the latest winter storm has been upgraded to catastrophic and renamed Storm Grayling”

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