Tag: Grayling

Grayling Airways flight to Dusseldorf lands at Edinburgh Airport

Edinburgh Airport

Fully a week before April Fool’s Day, Grayling Airways surprised their passengers today by landing a plane in the wrong country and welcoming passengers to their unintended destination.

Eyebrows were quickly raised after touchdown when a Grayling aircraft with call sign G-OHNO taxied towards the terminal at Edinburgh Airport and a large “Welcome to Edinburgh” sign hoved into view. Continue reading “Grayling Airways flight to Dusseldorf lands at Edinburgh Airport”

Chris Grayling accidently awards the £33 million freight handling contract to Thomas the Tank and The Fat Controller

Fat contract added to The Fat Controller

Last week the Department of Transport publicly admitted they’d made a mess of post Brexit freight handling plans. Many were puzzled as to why the breakdown of the freight contract with a ferry company with no boats, should result in the need to pay £33 million to Eurotunnel, a train operator but hey! that’s politics for you.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse for Chris Grayling, Transport Secretary, it’s transpired that following an administrative mix up, the £33 million contract was given to Island of Sodoff Railways rather than Eurotunnel. Continue reading “Chris Grayling accidently awards the £33 million freight handling contract to Thomas the Tank and The Fat Controller”

The status of the latest winter storm has been upgraded to catastrophic and renamed Storm Grayling

Devastation as Storm Grayling causes chaos

This weeks winter Atlantic storm, was originally named Freya and it was expected to bring a sense of mild depression, together with bouts of heavy rain and high winds to all parts of the UK.

Unfortunately, the low pressure at the centre of the storm, has deepened, bring risk of substantial and prolonged depression to all areas of the country. With the increase in storm severity, it has been upgraded to catastrophic and renamed Storm Grayling. Continue reading “The status of the latest winter storm has been upgraded to catastrophic and renamed Storm Grayling”

Southern Rail to be more accurately renamed as Southern Buses

Southern Rail replacement bus service

In a refreshing burst of honesty Southern Rail has decided to rebrand itself as Southern Buses.

Company Spokesman, Ian Napton explained, “It’s more reflective of our operation and how it works. We run far more buses than trains, the fact that we are charging full train fares for a bus journey makes it an immensely profitable business for us.” Continue reading “Southern Rail to be more accurately renamed as Southern Buses”

Seaborne Freight wins the award for The Most Outstanding Ferry Company of The Year

In a surprise announcement, Seaborne Freight has won the award for Outstanding Ferry Company of the Year at this years Cargo Freight Awards.

Director of the Awards Committee, Ian Napton, explained, “There was only one contender. Seaborne were the most punctual and reliable, they never missed a sailing. Additionally they secured a £14 million government contract and the ringing endorsement of a Senior Cabinet Minister. Our customer satisfaction survey showed they were the only company to get no complaints, which is an outstanding achievement.  It’s important to acknowledge the valuable work they have done in raising the profile of the cargo freight industry and we are delighted to recognise the work of this outstanding British company.” Continue reading “Seaborne Freight wins the award for The Most Outstanding Ferry Company of The Year”

UK selects The Okey-Cokey as its entry into The Eurovision Song Contest

In one of the more definitive results, in a National Vote, Britain has overwhelmingly chosen The Okey-Cokey as its entry into the Eurovision Song Contest.

Beating off strong competition from such nostalgia pop as; The White Cliffs of Dover Car Park, by Failing Grayling; Rule Britannia by Little Dick and The Johnsons, and F U EU by controversial rappers, The Elite, The Okey-Cokey was the surprise winner of the People’s Vote. Continue reading “UK selects The Okey-Cokey as its entry into The Eurovision Song Contest”

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