Tag: IT

The Internet cannot be broken by a post about plastic hooks, says Expert

Experts confirm that the internet cannot be broken by a packet of plastic stick-on hooks, not matter how good the VFM.

Toshitone Industries make the spectacular claim on Facebook. They say that the internet is going so wild for yellow plastic hooks that you can stick on to a flat surface with double-sided sticky tape, that it is broken!

Toshitone INdustries for all your hanging needs

Covid App trial cancelled after designer’s Gran signs up to Tinder by mistake

The trial of the Contact Tracing App was cancelled after the designer’s Gran accidentally signed up to Tinder.

Mabel Napton (68) was very proud that her Grandson, Ian, designed the Government’s Covid-19 contact tracing app. As a show of support, she bought a mobile phone and downloaded the app. The sign-up process was simple, and after entering basic details and posting a picture of herself, she was good to go.  

Whose emissions were like those of horses (Ezekiel 23:20)

Met Office to reboot Stonehenge as part of IT upgrade

Met Office plans to upgrade their weather forecasting technology by rebooting Stonehenge.

The current IT system, at Weather Towers, has become obsolete so the Met Office has looked for other cost-effective method for mis-predicting the weather. An initial quote of £1.2B for a new supercomputer was discounted as too expensive. One novel approach was to reboot Stonehenge.

The stone is wet, it must be raining!

BA IT Failure inspires British traveller to build a business

A plucky British would-be entrepreneur believes he is on to something which will see him able to lend Bill Gates a few quid.

Ian Napton, an ordinary bloke, told us, “I was at Gatwick waiting to board a British Airways flight when they announced their computer systems were down and I couldn’t check in. It reminded me of when I couldn’t renew my passport because their systems were down. I thought back to when the world wasn’t dominated by computers and everything worked more or less correctly, allowing for a bit of human incompetence, without the enormous costs associated with all the technology and the IT Support people, who just tell you to switch your machine off and on again. Then it dawned on me. There’s a business to be built around pens and pads.”

Up, Up and Away!

Googlesoft reveal Britain’s most common password is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’

Googlesoft have revealed Britain’s most common, and easily  guessable password. The winner is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’ which is being used by over 69% of IT users. 

The tech guys claim that using easily recognisable passwords makes it simple for hackers to gather personal data for nefarious purposes. They would like to point out that this is their job. Continue reading “Googlesoft reveal Britain’s most common password is ‘Runbyc*%ts!’”