Tag: Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson comes out as a Caravaneer

The latest celebrity to join the ‘coming out’ trend is Jeremy Clarkson, who stunned some people when he took to breakfast TV to publicly admitted his love of caravans.

In his statement, he revealed his life long passion for all things caravany. “It has always been an obsession of mine. When I was a kid I fell in love with the damn things, the way they swayed in a light breeze, let in the rain on a sunny day and held up all the traffic on the A303. Bliss!”

“It’s their beauty, elegance and complete uselessness that does it for” says JC

Middle-aged man loses his dignity at the office Xmas party

Uproar was caused at the A.N.Y office party, following an alleged assault to a middle-aged man’s dignity.

Events unfolded following the onslaught of a free bar and insubstantial canapes. Whilst Chumbawamba was in full swing on the dancefloor, Robin from accounts, dressed as Santa, offered to show Anna from H.R his grinding. Alarmingly, she retorted ‘Get lost Grandpa!’, causing widespread guffawing and a distinctive dent to his ego.

hI-hO! hI-hO It’s off to work we go!

Decoded radio signals from across the Galaxy reveal Aliens hidden message, “Brexit, ffs, will you just get on with it”

Scientists have picked up mysterious radio signals from across the other side of the galaxy. Using some pretty sophisticated software, cryptographers from The Dan Brown Academy, working with top astrophysicists, have decoded the message.

It reads, “Dear Humanity, we’re sick to the back teeth of Brexit, either leave or stay but stop dragging it out, ffs just get on with it.” Continue reading “Decoded radio signals from across the Galaxy reveal Aliens hidden message, “Brexit, ffs, will you just get on with it””

RIP The much loved truth and justice campaigner, Smears Morgan

We are very saddened to hear of the untimely death of the controversial truth campaigner and stalwart fighter for truth, justice and integrity.

Renowned as the editor of several National Newspapers, and as a known associate of Rupert Murdoch, Smears was never one to not go far enough. Continue reading “RIP The much loved truth and justice campaigner, Smears Morgan”