Tag: Jeremy Corbyn

Brexiteer Tories forced to thank Jeremy Corbyn after he does them a solid

Jeremy says No

Senior Tory MP’s found themselves in disarray last night after realising they would need to thank Jeremy Corbyn for the break down in talks with Theresa May.

Many senior Tory MP’s have been apoplectic with rage since The Prime Minister announced that she was willing to discuss joining forces with Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party to try and get a Brexit deal through Parliament. Continue reading “Brexiteer Tories forced to thank Jeremy Corbyn after he does them a solid”

BBC Correspondent almost spaff’ed to death after latest Royal Wedding

Another Royal Parade

The BBC’s Royal Correspondent, Ian Napton, is reportedly near death after yet another Royal Wedding.

Sources have revealed that the veteran broadcaster has expressed so much ejaculate whilst covering this year’s Weddings and Birth’s that he has almost no fluid left in his body. He exists as little more than a desiccated husk.
Continue reading “BBC Correspondent almost spaff’ed to death after latest Royal Wedding”

The Conservative Party gives itself indefinite leave to remain in power

Conservative Party Leader

The Government, has announced that it can never be replaced. Propped up by The DUP, The Conservative Party will have an indefinite crack at running the country.

Ian Napton, a Tory spokesman, speaking from Central Office, said, “Voting again at a future General Election would be undemocratic and destroy the country’s faith in politics. The people voted at a General Election in 2017 for these Members of Parliament and to do anything to try to change that would be to go against the will of the people. They’d never forgive us.” Continue reading “The Conservative Party gives itself indefinite leave to remain in power”

Following the abysmal performance of the England Cricket Team, in the West Indies, Theresa May has cancelled their right to return under Operation Winless

Keen cricket fan, Theresa May, was so disgusted at the performance of the England Team, following their thrashing on their West Indies tour, that she has cancelled their right to return.

A government spokesperson, Ian Napton, explained, “She got the idea from Operation Windrush, where we deported British Citizens to the West Indies. In this case she thought we could save on the cost of flying them out there, if we just stopped them from returning.” 
Continue reading “Following the abysmal performance of the England Cricket Team, in the West Indies, Theresa May has cancelled their right to return under Operation Winless”

Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto

Pantomime season was in full swing at The Palace of  Westminster Theatre as the audience cried out “Nobodies behind you”.

With multiple players vying for election to the role of Unprincipled Boy in the Brexit shit-show, Mother’s Goosed, May gave her best dramatic performance yet. Continue reading “Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto”

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