Tag: Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn promises free kittens and puppies for everyone

If Labour wins the next election, Jeremy Corbyn has promised an increase in national happiness by giving a free puppy or kitten to every household in Britain.

In what is being hailed as a revolutionary new policy, Mr Corbyn aims to make Britain forget about its troubles and woes through the use of cute furry animals. Within 3 months of winning, every household will receive their new pet. Acceptance is mandatory.

Now Mr Tibbles, stop that!

Fat Cats get to work fewer hours for more money

Fat Cat City workers are demanding that they should now only have to work part-time hours.

Traders, Big Wigs and other City types have complained that the long hours they work cause them to have insufficient time to spend all of their money, and they should now be allowed to work from 9.00 till 4.00 only.

Buy! Buy! Sell! Sell! Right, time to trouser the readies

The Conservative Party Apology Template (GE19 Edition)

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I deeply regret that it’s necessary for me to make another public apology.

Unfortunately, they’ve made me make an unreserved apology to all those people that are not supporters of the Tory Party. It seems they are easily offended, I don’t know why, it was just a bit of bants.

But I didn’t mean it (Fingers Crossed)

Boris to set his Dad on Jeremy unless he stops being a meanie

Boris Johnson has told Jeremy Corbyn, that his Dad is harder than Jezza’s Dad and if he doesn’t get a general election, his Dad will be round to give him a jolly good thumping.

The inclusion of Boris’s Dad in the argument represents a serious racking up of tension between the two boys. Initially, Boris had threatened to send his brother Jo round to do the duffing but the elder sibling declined, stating that Bozo was ‘a spoilt little brat’.  

Trouble in the playground

Corbyn released as no evidence he’s trying to bring down government

Jeremy Corbyn was arrested under The Terrorism Act. He has since been released as there is insufficient evidence that he is trying to bring down the Government.

After having been outed by The Daily Mail as a terrorist many years ago, Jeremy Corbyn has been on the official watchlist as a ‘significant’ threat to an effective Tory Government. However, the risks may have been exaggerated.

What do we want? We dont’t know, When do we want it? Never