Tag: Jeremy Corbyn

The Conservative Party Apology Template (GE19 Edition)

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I deeply regret that it’s necessary for me to make another public apology.

Unfortunately, they’ve made me make an unreserved apology to all those people that are not supporters of the Tory Party. It seems they are easily offended, I don’t know why, it was just a bit of bants.

But I didn’t mean it (Fingers Crossed)

Boris to set his Dad on Jeremy unless he stops being a meanie

Boris Johnson has told Jeremy Corbyn, that his Dad is harder than Jezza’s Dad and if he doesn’t get a general election, his Dad will be round to give him a jolly good thumping.

The inclusion of Boris’s Dad in the argument represents a serious racking up of tension between the two boys. Initially, Boris had threatened to send his brother Jo round to do the duffing but the elder sibling declined, stating that Bozo was ‘a spoilt little brat’.  

Trouble in the playground

Corbyn released as no evidence he’s trying to bring down government

Jeremy Corbyn was arrested under The Terrorism Act. He has since been released as there is insufficient evidence that he is trying to bring down the Government.

After having been outed by The Daily Mail as a terrorist many years ago, Jeremy Corbyn has been on the official watchlist as a ‘significant’ threat to an effective Tory Government. However, the risks may have been exaggerated.

What do we want? We dont’t know, When do we want it? Never

Britain to pretend the last three years didn’t happen

Britain is to pretend that the last three years have simply not happened. It’s going to be like Bobby Ewing but without the shower scene. The adults all got together and decided enough was enough and it simply could not go on any longer.

Ian Napton explains, “We had a meeting and thought the whole thing was a complete disaster so the best thing we could do under the circumstances was to pretend it had never happened in the first place. Gillian pointed out that this was very, very British behaviour.”

No, No, I definitely don’t remember anything about Brexit!

Parliament’s Saturday session contravenes the EU Working Time Directive

Parliament’s Saturday Session has been cancelled as it contravenes the EU Working Time Directive.

Boris Johnson’ Saturday session of the House of Commons has been cancelled. Consequently, The Speaker confirmed that the proposed session would put MPs in breach of the EU Working Time Directive, so couldn’t go ahead.

Work? On a Saturday? Are you mad?