Over the last few weeks, from their doorsteps, the nation’s army of clappers have worked themselves to the point of exhaustion.CLAP LIKE A COKED-UP bONOBO
A Highgate school has ‘vehemently rejected’, an angry parent’s plea, to allow her child to continue schooling as normal.
Self-proclaimed ‘shakra and vibration guru’, Olivia Napton, claims that as ‘an energy shaman’, she should be considered a ‘key-worker’, therefore allowing her daughter Brabantia-Dragonflower, uninterrupted education.What do you mean I am not providing an essential service!
Mr and Mrs Napton, happily married for nigh on 30 years are to divorce. Matters came to a head, when quarantine rules confined them both to the house, for a couple of days.I’m going to ‘kin kill you, you bastard!
With the country starting to run out of toilet paper, Swedish wunderkind Greta Thunberg is urging people to recycle used paper.
“You are destroying the planet with your arsewiping” she claimed.You’re destroying my future with your arsewiping
Colin Jackson, described by those who know him as, ‘absolutely mental’, ‘a complete nutter’, and ‘a right laugh’, has been diagnosed by a leading psychiatrist as, ‘a bit of a prat’.
Professor Fraud explains, “In our clinic, we see many such cases. There is an assumption that strange behaviour in a public makes someone ‘a character’. This is false. Just because people are too nice to say anything doesn’t ever make ‘being a prat’ socially acceptable.There is no excuse for behaving like that!