With the arrival of the Illiteratti from Surrey, North London and the Home Counties, Edinburgh City Council have decreed that for the month of August, all chip shops in the city will be vegetarian.Frying tonight
A middle aged woman has sparked outrage, as she ‘failed to participate in generic bemoaning of the heatwave.’
In an act which has been described as, ‘quite frankly defiant and un-British’, Gillian Napton continued with her everyday duties, in an ‘unflappable’ manner.Keep cool and carry on!
This week, Chatty is going to be taking a look at procrastination. Not today, obviously. Probably later in the week, or maybe next week. Yes, next week sounds better.
We recognise the cost suffered by chimps, people, businesses and the economy as a whole as a result of unnecessary delays, and we’re pleased to announce that we’re going to be hosting a conference on the subject in 2021.Read this later! Whenever!
A south London woman has been found safe and well, though slightly seething, after being reported missing by her husband.
Fears for Gillian Napton grew, when her husband Ian discovered the Sunday roast had failed to emerge at it’s usual time, post golf game.
Reliving the ordeal, Ian Napton told us, ‘Alarm bells rang, once I got home, arguably a tad late, to radio silence and an empty oven.’Continue reading “Frustrated housewife buried under an avalanche of empty toilet roll tubes”
Following the biggest and driest Glastonbury for years, in a welcome boost to the UK economy, drug dealers have reported a bumper sales boost at this year’s festival.
Ian ‘The Gange’ Napton, “We had a brilliant few days, much better than we expected. It seems the crowd were ‘totes up’ for ‘getting off their tits’.”Hi Man! Chill!
Millennial hipster, Skye Nation, was being comforted by friends after undergoing a traumatic coffee buying experience in the multi-national drinks chain, Café Costabucks.
Trouble started when his favourite trendy bespoke coffee shop was closed, due to a ‘pop-up muffin’ day. Skye was unable to attend due to his gluten sensitivity.Hipsters, Really?