Protestors were out in force, in Central London, in protest at the number of protest marches being held in the city.
The campaign started after the latest protest march caused some inconvenience to city folk. Londoners decided they had had enough, and formed their own protest group. Shortly afterwards, they took to the streets, in a largely peaceful protest. Continue reading “Protestors protesting about Protest Marches run into counter protest”
Scientists, working at the University of Life, have concluded that Nigel Farage is not The Messiah, he’s not even a vary naughty boy!
The confusion arose when Nigel pledged to walk 250 of his people out of oppression and tyranny, to the promised land of London. He’d even laid on a bus.
One noted theologian said, “No, hang on! Isn’t that Moses?”
Continue reading “He’s Not The Messiah, he’s not even a naughty boy”
Indignation spread across the artisan market community, when a crudely worded complaint was propagated on social media.
Tourist Trevor Manley, who can only be described as ‘northern’, felt that his visit to Borough Market was ‘poor value for money.’
Feeling ‘misunderstood and undervalued for their quintessential craft-personship’, stall holders responded bitterly, by suggesting that Manley had not appreciated the market’s ‘exemplary ambience’. Continue reading “After a northerner slags off Borough Market the locals suggests he sticks to Wetherspoons as ‘he will feel more at home there’”
Whitehall sources have confirmed that plans originally drawn up during the Cold War to evacuate the Royal Family out of London in the event of nuclear attack have been “repurposed” in anticipation of civil unrest after a No Deal Brexit.
Ian Napton, a Whitehall spokesman, said, “We’re all set to smuggle The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh out of town if we need to. Their destination is, of course, top secret.” Continue reading “Plans are afoot to move the Royal Family out of London if summer rioting breaks out”
Number 10 has confirmed the Prime Minister chaired a meeting of the Cobra Emergency Committee this morning after reports that a Financial Services worker, unable to commute into London due to snow, ran perilously low on teabags whilst working at home. Continue reading “Emergency COBRA meeting called after a snowbound man was down to his last two tea-bags”
In a surprising move, the renowned author, George Orwell, has come back from the dead to publish his hastily written sequel to 1984. Continue reading “George Orwell’s back from the dead with his 1984 sequel, 2019 – It’s Doubleplus Ungood”