Tag: National News

BBC replace Newsnight host because she is too intelligent

The BBC Newsnight current affairs programme has replaced their regular host presenter Emily Maitlis for being ‘too intelligent’ in dissecting the government’s handling of Dominic Cummings’ lockdown trip to Durham.

An Intelligent Woman
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BBC News coverage to be cut to 10 minutes a day

With the worldwide lockdown curtailing almost all activity, the BBC has decided to cut their news output to 10 minutes a day.

The BBC’s Head of News said, “This is a fantastic opportunity for us to save a packet. Nothing is happening, so all we need is a bulletin that leads with ‘Corona Virus Lockdown continues’, follows it up with ‘valiant NHS Staff don’t have enough PPE’ and finishes with a heart warming story about some child from Middlesborough getting a thousand likes for his dead Granny on Instagram, before she looks wistfully at the camera and tells us that, “It’s what she would have wanted”.

Thank fu&7 for that says Kirsty Wark