Tag: Police

Met Police to teach cops not to get caught being racist

The Met Police is concerned about the high number of online videos showing the Police’s racial abuse of black people. It will now train officers how to not get caught being racist, in the first place.

“We are sorry that middle-class white people are upset by videos showing what it’s like to be black and live in London. Obviously, it would be much better if they hadn’t seen what we get up to.”

The Chief Constable
Wearing a loud shirt, after dark in a built up area

Police to enforce social distancing by using a British Yardstick

After confirmation from The Prime Minister that Brexit continues, the Government are reintroducing imperial measurements, starting with The British Yardstick.

Following on from countless breaches of the social distancing regulations, The Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, plans to issue all British Bobbies with a yardstick. This means The Police can ensure everyone stays at least 2 1/5th  yards away from each other.


Line of Duty returns for 6th series with even more acronyms

LoD creator Jed Mercurio has confirmed that the series will return for a 6th series, and it will be chock full of bright new acronyms and abbreviations.

“The thing is coming up with all those acronyms series after series is the really hard part. If we put in enough random letters, everyone just sits there trying to work them out and fails to notice we just repeated the first season again and again.”

LoD back for s6, with a new OCG in AF12