After confirmation from The Prime Minister that Brexit continues, the Government are reintroducing imperial measurements, starting with The British Yardstick.
Following on from countless breaches of the social distancing regulations, The Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, plans to issue all British Bobbies with a yardstick. This means The Police can ensure everyone stays at least 2 1/5th yards away from each other.
LoD creator Jed Mercurio has confirmed that the series will return for a 6th series, and it will be chock full of bright new acronyms and abbreviations.
“The thing is coming up with all those acronyms series after series is the really hard part. If we put in enough random letters, everyone just sits there trying to work them out and fails to notice we just repeated the first season again and again.”
A tourist has been arrested after accidentally loitering on the steps of the Ministry of Defence.
Tom Merton, (25) from Glasgow, was enjoying his Ryvita and £8 cup of London coffee when he found himself being handcuffed, gagged and manhandled by armed Ministry of Defence Police who clearly have nothing better to do with their time.