Angry scenes in parliament including backstabbing, intimidation and verbal abuse, resulted in Mary Poppins and Nanny McPhee making emergency appearances to restore law and order.
Poppins was aghast, when M.Ps insisted it was just another day at the office. She reported: ‘‘Nobody here is practically perfect in everyway. In fact, Michael Gove measured in as ‘deeply suspicious, with a hint of authoritarian.’’ Continue reading “Emergency Response Nannies called into Parliament to sort out the naughty little children”
Claims that standards of competence for MP’s have declined have been strongly rebuffed in a statement from parliamentary spokesperson, Ian Napton.
“Chris Grayling, the Transport Secretary, has been cited as an example of a ‘decline’ in ‘standards of competence’ within the House. This is simply nonsense.” Continue reading “Despite Chris Grayling there is no evidence parliamentary standards are dropping”
Ian Napton, has come up with a Brexit solution so ingenious he can’t believe no one ever thought of it before.
“I was sitting in the bath, mulling things over and I had this eureka moment. I suddenly realised the answer was to give everyone what they think they want.” he explained. Continue reading “Brexit problem solved by having one week’s No Brexit, one week’s Soft Brexit and finally a good hard one”
House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
Dear Sir Graham,
It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself. Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”
Two of UKIP’s leading lights, Nigel Farage and Suzanne Evans, have publicly quit UKIP after finding out the party was ‘a little bit racist’.
Apparently this came as a shock as they understood the party to be a force for enlightenment, inclusivity, change and goodness. They were, both, very disappointed to discover they were, in fact, the bad guys. Continue reading “Farage and Evans quit UKIP after discovering the party is ‘a little bit racist’”
Russian supervillain, Mr Bigski’s, plan for World domination is almost complete. The last piece of the jigsaw fell into place when he assumed control of Interpol, the world’s police force.
Having orchestrated Brexit, the breakdown of global democracy, control of the oil and gas supply to the developed world, ownership of Chelsea FC and the election of Donald Trump, the Russian Supervillain’s plan to rule the world through ‘divide and conquer’ is almost complete. Continue reading “Mr Bigski’s plan for World domination almost complete as he takes control of Interpol”