The government has declared that tomorrow’s, as yet unpublished Brexit Report, is out of date.
The report, signed off by senior civil servants, makes it clear that a No Deal Brexit will be damaging to the UK economy and put lives at risk. Experts from all sides agreed the report was accurate ‘as far as it goes’ but that the reality will be much worse.
Nothing to see here, move along now!
As part of a dynamic, free trading post Brexit world the UK government has decided to seize on Donald Trump’s love of islands by offering to sell him the Isle of Wight
The President recently tried to buy Greenland but was rebuffed. Knowing that he had cash to burn the burghers of Whitehall decided they could help restore the government finances by selling the island to the USA.
Yesterday Jeremy Corbyn issued a letter formally announcing his candidacy for the position of Tory Party Leader.
In what his supporters labelled as a cunning and daring move, Mr Corbyn has decided to enter the contest long after the winner was crowned. His fans claim he is both the master of the long game and a daring and revolutionary political genius.
To be the king!
Britain’s newest and most up-and-coming magician is wowing them in the Shires and Backbenches. Not since the legendary Paul Daniels had Britain seen a trick like this one.
Known as Saj The Maj, he’s magically finding money for everyone, so his act is terribly popular. “Old magic doesn’t set pulses racing any more,” he told us. “Sleight of hand has been seen through. It’s just basic dishonesty when you strip the Manifesto policy wordings away, and people want more. Previous magicians have exhausted the old ‘pulling a rabbit out of a hat’ routine, too, so I needed something new. I looked at this old tree in the garden at the back of my new house and thought, hmm, a money tree. The previous bloke who lived here talked a lot about money tree policy, and now I understand what he was on about. I’ve built my act around it.”
Roll Up! Roll Up!
Dominic Raabid claims he told his imaginary friend, Harvey Napton, about the risks of a no-deal prior to the 2016 referendum. He further asserts that he made it quite clear there was a real risk of leaving the EU with No-Deal and that this would be a good thing. What’s more he told him this on multiple occasions.
Harvey issued a statement denying these claims.
If I go I am not coming back!
It’s the 100th Anniversary of the building of the first Council House. We asked Westminster Council’s oldest living tenant, Mrs Liz Windsor, what it’s been like living and raising a family in publicly rented accommodation.
“It’s been brilliant, we were so lucky to be first on the housing ladder. Finding affordable, family accommodation in the centre of London was very difficult.”
One says more, here!