Blue Peter have launched their biggest appeal yet, to save the endangered species, Great Britain.
So extreme is the crisis, that the sticky-backed plastic entrepreneurs, have offered not only a Gold Blue Peter badge as a prize but unrestricted access to the House of Commons and a lifetime peerage, as well. Continue reading “Blue Peter appeal to save Great Britain from extinction”
Following the record-breaking success of last week’s petition to the Government to revoke Article 50, the petitions website has crashed again.
Petitioner Ian Napton said, “I was caught up in the euphoria of so many millions of people venting against Brexit and thought I’d start a petition of my own.”
Continue reading “Petition to replace with Theresa May with NZ PM, Jacinda Arden, tops 20 Million signatures”
Angry scenes in parliament including backstabbing, intimidation and verbal abuse, resulted in Mary Poppins and Nanny McPhee making emergency appearances to restore law and order.
Poppins was aghast, when M.Ps insisted it was just another day at the office. She reported: ‘‘Nobody here is practically perfect in everyway. In fact, Michael Gove measured in as ‘deeply suspicious, with a hint of authoritarian.’’ Continue reading “Emergency Response Nannies called into Parliament to sort out the naughty little children”
Claims that standards of competence for MP’s have declined have been strongly rebuffed in a statement from parliamentary spokesperson, Ian Napton.
“Chris Grayling, the Transport Secretary, has been cited as an example of a ‘decline’ in ‘standards of competence’ within the House. This is simply nonsense.” Continue reading “Despite Chris Grayling there is no evidence parliamentary standards are dropping”
Ian Napton, has come up with a Brexit solution so ingenious he can’t believe no one ever thought of it before.
“I was sitting in the bath, mulling things over and I had this eureka moment. I suddenly realised the answer was to give everyone what they think they want.” he explained. Continue reading “Brexit problem solved by having one week’s No Brexit, one week’s Soft Brexit and finally a good hard one”
House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
10 Downing Street
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
Dear Sir Graham,
It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself. Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”