Tag: Politics

Attempts to organise a piss-up in a brewery on hold

Education Secretary and human by pure technicality, Gavin Williamson, has today announced that his latest side project, attempting to organise a piss-up in a brewery, has been shelved indefinitely after a series of high-profile clangers resulted in multiple deaths. 

Party organiser, Gavin Williamson
I only wanted the chaps to have a nice time!

Piers Morgan injures himself by falling off his High Horse

Viewers noticed a blessed silence when they tuned in to Good Morning Britain, as Piers Morgan was surprisingly absent.

The accident happened as Piers was sitting astride his High Horse. In good form, he was telling everyone why they were wrong about everything, and reminding them of how brilliant he is when suddenly, his horse bolted.

Piers takes a few days off to allow his arse to recover

Eton, Oxford and The Royal Family outlawed as White Supremacist Groups

Following the death of George Floyd and the ensuing worldwide anti-racist protests, the Government will make all white supremacist organisations illegal. From Monday, membership of an elite, discriminatory, whites-only organisation will become a criminal offence.

We welcome the modern world, with all of its diversity!
Oh bollocks says Boris, what have I done?