Tag: racism

Yorkshire people are banned from London

Seeking things to ban, Priti Patel has outlawed the Yorkshire people from London.

“You can’t have these people coming down from the North, invading our cities and mixing with posh people. It’s not right. Think of the damage it will do to our children! Have you heard how these people speak? It’s like they don’t have teeth. I caught my niece saying ‘get ‘t foot o our stairs’ it’s out of control.”

Yorki gangs running rampant.

Met Police to teach cops not to get caught being racist

The Met Police is concerned about the high number of online videos showing the Police’s racial abuse of black people. It will now train officers how to not get caught being racist, in the first place.

“We are sorry that middle-class white people are upset by videos showing what it’s like to be black and live in London. Obviously, it would be much better if they hadn’t seen what we get up to.”

The Chief Constable
Wearing a loud shirt, after dark in a built up area

Eton, Oxford and The Royal Family outlawed as White Supremacist Groups

Following the death of George Floyd and the ensuing worldwide anti-racist protests, the Government will make all white supremacist organisations illegal. From Monday, membership of an elite, discriminatory, whites-only organisation will become a criminal offence.

We welcome the modern world, with all of its diversity!
Oh bollocks says Boris, what have I done?

Prince William calls for more diversity, just not in his own family

Prince William calls for the working class to be more diverse by ensuring that entertainment industry awards reflect wider society. Without any hint of irony, the Prince castigated the audience for holding an award ceremony to reward rich white folks with limited talent.

Celebrating Diversity!
You’ve got to let in more of them!

Grandad sent to a home after buying a copy of The Daily Mail

The Napton family has come to the sad realisation that it was time for Grandad to go into a home.

The trouble started when Grandad went to the local shop for a packet of Werthers Originals and came back with a copy of the Daily Mail. The embarrassed family immediately called an emergency meeting. After a quick chat, they decided that, even though he was only 58, it was time for him to go into a home. Grandma was delighted.

The Daily Mail, really? Oh! Grandad, How could you?