Tag: Relationships

Accidental community hero honoured by his neighbours

A community is honouring an accidental hero, for his valiant efforts, to support his neighbours during social distancing.

With his heralded golf club closed for the foreseeable, Ian Napton like many, was faced with a daunting void in his social calendar. With this in mind, his quick thinking wife Gillian suggested, that they ‘embark on studying and practising daily tantric sex.

Its shut, what do i do now?
It was nothing, what else are you going to do whilst the golf club is closed?

‘For God’s sake buy her Valentine’s Day flowers’ warns regretful idiot

Self proclaimed modern man, Ian Napton has been left in a state of shock, after his genius idea ‘to swerve Valentine’s Day’, hugely backfired.

Napton announced his intention to abstain from the ‘commercial venture, allegedly ‘to avoid belittling’ his wife Gillian, with a show of ‘demeaning patriarchal tradition.’

Of course I love you darling, it’s just I can’t be bothered to get you anything

Frustrated housewife buried under an avalanche of empty toilet roll tubes

A south London woman has been found safe and well, though slightly seething, after being reported missing by her husband. 

Fears for Gillian Napton grew, when her husband Ian discovered the Sunday roast had failed to emerge at it’s usual time, post golf game. 

Reliving the ordeal, Ian Napton told us, ‘Alarm bells rang, once I got home, arguably a tad late, to radio silence and an empty oven.’ 

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