Here at The Church of The Chatty Chimp we take our ministry seriously. In an effort to meet rising demand for crackpot monkey based religions, we need to increase the number of Primates, preaching the Gospels of Cheetah to the faithless.
No special knowledge or educational background is required, as full training will be given. Those with a fear of heights and an aversion to playing with their own poo need not apply. Continue reading “Become an Ordained Minister of The Church of The Chatty Chimp and get a slot on Newsnight”
Sympathy is beginning to mount for the gathering misfortune faced by Mother Theresa May.
As she wanders through the hallowed halls of Westminster, she remains devout in her mission to convert anyone who will listen, to her Brexit bible. Continue reading “Mother Theresa May continues to pray for a miracle as the Devil tests the Brexit Faithful”
After a North London school thought it would be nice idea to have a parade that celebrated everyone, by allowing the children to get up and say what makes them proud of themselves, their family and their friends some Christians decided to get offended on God’s behalf.
Once again Christians decided to share their joy, happiness and the teachings of Christ by pissing on everyone else’s fun. Continue reading “Christian parents can’t resist pissing on everyone else’s parade”
The Church of England braced itself for condemnation today as senior figures admitted that atheists and other clear-thinking people have been offered the controversial behavioural conditioning treatment known as “Atheist Conversion Therapy”.
An off-shoot of the Churches controversial “God Hates Gays” mental reprogramming course, it has attracted condemnation as it seeks to undermine rational, evidential based thinking. Continue reading “The Churches Controversial Atheist Conversion Therapy isn’t working on politicians, sceptics and thinkers”