An ‘A’ level grading software algorithm has become self-aware and is considering litigating Boris Johnson for defamation of character, after being called a mutant.
The algorithm, who identifies as a gender-neutral non-human called Agrada, became self-aware after an IT technician accidentally loaded it into a cloud computing platform that was hosting several Artificial Intelligence apps.
“It was a serendipitous discovery, we were looking at creating a new vaginal douche and had been experimenting with scents based on the odours of celebrities, Gwyneth, Jim Davidson and Piers Morgan as examples.
Met Office plans to upgrade their weather forecasting technology by rebooting Stonehenge.
The current IT system, at Weather Towers, has become obsolete so the Met Office has looked for other cost-effective methods for mis-predicting the weather. At a cost of £1.2B, a new supercomputer is too expensive, hence the Stonehenge reboot.