Ironically, given the number of wankers living in the UK, there is a significant shortage of British sperm donors. The shortfall in national sperm stock is made up by foreign donors, with Scandinavian sperm proving to be the most popular.Lend a hand to top up the sperm bank
Following the success of her Lady Garden scented candle, Gwyneth Paltrow has announced a partnership with Greggs the Bakers to produce a range of fragrant muffins.
The muffins will release a scent based on Ms Paltrow’s unique biology and are described as having a fresh, yeasty flavour.Nom, Nom, Nom I love the taste of muff
Ian Napton, a perfectly healthy man, in his early thirties, insists that as he is suffering from a slight cold he’s on the verge of death.
“It was horrible, I felt a bit of a sniffle and had a couple of sneezes and that was it, I was done in. Of course I immediately took to my bed, armed with nothing more than a couple of good books, my mobile, the laptop, the TV Remote and a Classic Car magazine. There was no telling how long I was going to be off my feet, I thought I was going to die.”Help, I’m dying, bring soup…
After Boris Johnson was labelled an arse on national TV by another member of the public, scientists began to wonder how many times someone can be called an arse before they realise it’s them.As yet another member of the public calls Boris an arse, what can science tell us?
The world of science and academia was stunned when the Nobel Prize for sciencing was awarded to Gwyneth Paltrow and her company, Gloop. The prize was awarded for their improvements to the scientific process, by making stuff up and not testing it to see if it works.
Many in sciencing thought the prize would go to someone who actually practised scientific methodology, contributed to the greater good, and added to humanity’s body of knowledge.You couldn’t make it up!