Extensive medical research into male hearing, has left many women slightly unsurprised but bitterly disappointed nevertheless.
Studies confirm the hypothesis that hearing in men is indeed selective, or more commonly known as, ‘cocking a deafen.’ Continue reading “Science confirms men can’t listen to women talking”
The DofE faced a backlash today after plans to make talking during third-period Science a capital offence were leaked to the media.
DofE spokesperson, Ian Napton, defended the plans; “Of course, people are questioning this policy. I think it just needed some clarification. It wouldn’t apply only to third-period lessons and would of course be used in subjects other than Science. We think this will curb the worrying trend of not all children going on to become high-flying business executives.” Continue reading “Department of Education’s radical plans for the reintroduction of Capital Punishment cause controversy”
Ian Napton, a perfectly healthy man, in his early thirties, insists that as he is suffering from a slight cold he’s on the verge of death.
“It was horrible, I felt a bit of a sniffle and had a couple of sneezes and that was it, I was done in. Of course I immediately took to my bed, armed with nothing more than a couple of good books, my mobile, the laptop, the TV Remote and a Classic Car magazine. There was no telling how long I was going to be off my feet, I thought I was going to die.” Continue reading “Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death”
Following the safe landing of NASA’s latest Mars explorer, Insight, on to the surface of Mars, NASA wanted to publicly thank all those who made it happen.
Andrew Jackson said, “The landing would not have been possible without the hard work, dedication and expertise of all of those working on the praying team. Without their constant kneeling, praying, bible reading, beseeching, invoking, pleading, finger crossing, Facebook likes and candle lighting, the mission would not have been a success.” Continue reading “Following the successes of the latest Martian landing NASA publicly thank the Thoughts & Prayers team for all their help”
The world of science and academia was stunned when the Nobel Prize for sciencing was awarded to Gwyneth Paltrow and her company, Gloop. The prize was awarded for their improvements to the scientific process, by making stuff up and not testing it to see if it works.
Many in sciencing thought the prize would go to someone who actually practiced scientific methodology, contributed to the greater good, and added to humanity’s body of knowledge. Continue reading “Gwyneth and her company, Gloop, win The Nobel Prize for sciencing”
After years of self-study, a scientist at The University of Life has discovered the best way to treat a hangover is to drink more.
The idea, first came to Dr Peter Wardy as an undergraduate. After 3 years of constant consumption of cheap alcohol, leading to regular hangovers, he wondered whether drinking more would make the symptoms go away. Continue reading “Dr Wardy, from The University of Life, says, “Hungover? then drink more and you’ll feel better””