Tag: Science

The Nobel Prize for Sciencing goes to Gwyneth Paltrow for Gloop

The world of science and academia was stunned when the Nobel Prize for sciencing was awarded to Gwyneth Paltrow and her company, Gloop. The prize was awarded for their improvements to the scientific process, by making stuff up and not testing it to see if it works.

Many in sciencing thought the prize would go to someone who actually practised scientific methodology, contributed to the greater good, and added to humanity’s body of knowledge.

You couldn’t make it up!

Scientists have discovered a new mineral called Brexshite

Previously considered to only be a theoretical possibility, researchers were delighted to have found examples of a new naturally occurring mineral, Brexshite.

Large clusters of the new mineral were found in several areas of the country. The likelihood of naturally occurring Brexshite was previously dismissed on the basis that even if it did exist it would be in such small quantities that no-one need worry about it. Mr Cameron’s experiments to prove that there were no meaningful naturally occurring supplies of Brexshite were ill-founded.

Bullshite, Gobshite and brexshite

Government declares tomorrow’s leaked Brexit report out of date

The government has declared that tomorrow’s, as yet unpublished Brexit Report, is out of date.

The report, signed off by senior civil servants, makes it clear that a No Deal Brexit will be damaging to the UK economy and put lives at risk. Experts from all sides agreed the report was accurate ‘as far as it goes’ but that the reality will be much worse.

Nothing to see here, move along now!

Linguistic experts confirm that the reason people mispronounce Jeremy Hunt’s last name is because he is one

Following the latest mispronunciation of Jeremy Hunt’s surname, he’s appealed for people to stop it, claiming “It’s not funny.”

The people beg to differ.

St Credulous University’s Linguistic expert, Ian Napton, took a closer look at the phenomena in order to see why this kept happening to Jeremy Hunt.  

He is ! Click here to find out more