Tag: Science

Greggs to produce Gwyneth Paltrow flavoured muffins

Following the success of her Lady Garden scented candle, Gwyneth Paltrow has announced a partnership with Greggs the Bakers to produce a range of fragrant muffins.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Muff at Greggs
Dive in boys, there is enough for everyone

The muffins will release a scent based on Ms Paltrow’s unique biology and are described as having a fresh, yeasty flavour.

Nom, Nom, Nom I love the taste of muff

Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death

Ian Napton, a perfectly healthy man, in his early thirties, insists that as he is suffering from a slight cold he’s on the verge of death.

NHS Doctor
A few days in bed will do the trick

It was horrible, I felt a bit of a sniffle and had a couple of sneezes and that was it, I was done in. Of course I immediately took to my bed, armed with nothing more than a couple of good books, my mobile, the laptop, the TV Remote and a Classic Car magazine. There was no telling how long I was going to be off my feet, I thought I was going to die.”

Man reading a porn mag
Just a little light reading, darling!
Help, I’m dying, bring soup…

The Nobel Prize for Sciencing goes to Gwyneth Paltrow for Gloop

The world of science and academia was stunned when the Nobel Prize for sciencing was awarded to Gwyneth Paltrow and her company, Gloop. The prize was awarded for their improvements to the scientific process, by making stuff up and not testing it to see if it works.

Many in sciencing thought the prize would go to someone who actually practised scientific methodology, contributed to the greater good, and added to humanity’s body of knowledge.

You couldn’t make it up!