A community is honouring an accidental hero, for his valiant efforts, to support his neighbours during social distancing.
With his heralded golf club closed for the foreseeable, Ian Napton like many, was faced with a daunting void in his social calendar. With this in mind, his quick thinking wife Gillian suggested, that they ‘embark on studying and practising daily tantric sex.’
“It’s a long period to stay indoors,” a spokesman for the movie mogul said, “but the government is taking a strict stance on these things, and it’s the right thing to do. He’s receiving regular visits and being spoken to through a steel door. Neighbours are bringing him his meals, too.”
Britons have shrugged their collective shoulders at the prospect that one of the Queen’s overprivileged sons may have shagged a teenager who was groomed by a high profile businessman who was subsequently convicted of that sort of thing and committed suicide in jail.