Tag: Social Media

jEREMY clarkson admits to his love of caravans
Entertainment, Monkey Life, Monkey News

Jeremy Clarkson comes out as a Caravaneer

The latest celebrity to join the ‘coming out’ trend is Jeremy Clarkson, who stunned some people when he took to breakfast TV to publicly admitted his love of caravans.

In his statement, he revealed his life long passion for all things caravany. “It has always been an obsession of mine. When I was a kid I fell in love with the damn things, the way they swayed in a light breeze, let in the rain on a sunny day and held up all the traffic on the A303. Bliss!”

“It’s their beauty, elegance and complete uselessness that does it for” says JC
Championing Diversity
Monkey News

Prince William calls for more diversity, just not in his own family

Prince William calls for the working class to be more diverse by ensuring that entertainment industry awards reflect wider society. Without any hint of irony, the Prince castigated the audience for holding an award ceremony to reward rich white folks with limited talent.

Celebrating Diversity!
You’ve got to let in more of them!
Today Fridge
Monkey News

Radio 4 to install walk-in fridge for politicians to hide in

The Government has announced that it is to stop appearing on any programme that asks hard questions.

Apparently, politicians are upset that journalists ask them questions about their jobs, areas of responsibility and running the country. “It’s not fair, I appeared on Radio 4 to talk about my cats and the presenter asked me lots of questions about Brexit, well, I couldn’t answer any of them, it was very embarrassing.” said one cabinet minister.

The Today programme on BBC Radio 4
You’re being mean to me!
Prince Andrew
Monkey Business, Politics

Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation

Prince Andrew’s personal protection squad has been withdrawn after terrorists claim he’s too toxic to bother with.

The Security Services provides personal protection when members of the Royal Household are considered ‘at risk’ from terrorist groups, or unstable members of the public. If an attack emanates from within the Royal Family they are, traditionally, left to their own devices. 

Why does nobody love me anymore?