Tag: Social Media

Social services are delighted after hearing that Russell Brand doesn’t bother looking after his children

The Department of Social Services have made a statement about Russell Brand and his child rearing practices. This is in response to the media coverage of an interview Russell gave, where he admitted he doesn’t look after his children.

Gavin Williams, spokesperson for the Department, explained, “We are quite delighted. We were concerned that the children were at real risk of long term psychological damage if left in the care of Mr Brand but now we know he has not been alone with them for more than a couple of hours at a time, we are sure they will be ok.” Continue reading “Social services are delighted after hearing that Russell Brand doesn’t bother looking after his children”

Daily Express Editor dies after suffering a prolonged orgasm, brought on by the arrival of winter snow in the UK

Ian Napton, an Editor at the Daily Express, passed away after reports came in of significant snowfalls in Northern England, with some significant accumulations even in low lying areas and drifting in more exposed parts.

After years of predicting significant and disruptive snowfalls across the country, the strain of being right, just once, was too much for Mr Napton’s heart to take. Continue reading “Daily Express Editor dies after suffering a prolonged orgasm, brought on by the arrival of winter snow in the UK”

Millennial expresses outrage on Instagram after being asked to take his bag off a seat on a busy train

Southern Rail commuters witnessed outrage this morning, when a millennial was asked to move their bag from the seat, on a packed train.

Although Joshua Woods was already sitting comfortably, Ian Napton inexcusably demanded that he ‘shifted’ the offending bag. Continue reading “Millennial expresses outrage on Instagram after being asked to take his bag off a seat on a busy train”

The winner of this years, Worst Celebrity Baby Name goes to Prestige Gazebos

Every year celebrities have competed in an annual competition to come up with the most outlandish name for their offspring. Moon Unit and Heavenly Hurani were notable examples of this worrying trend.

In recent years, with the growth of social media and the need to generate headlines, articles and controversial debate for the armies of talking heads, they’ve gone a bit overboard.

Notable celebrity baby names now include; Pirate, Rebel, Audio Science, Legume, Banjo, Moxie Crimefighter, Psychosis Smith, Apple, Pear, Star-Fruit, Pilot Inspector and IKhyd U Knot. Continue reading “The winner of this years, Worst Celebrity Baby Name goes to Prestige Gazebos”

Details of the latest series of Tits and Dragons announced

After an almost unbearable wait, details, teasers and some gratuitous nudity from the final season of Game of Thrones, have been released.

Apparently, the latest series of GoT will feature some big men fighting with swords for no other reason than they make a nice clanging noise and easily fill five minutes of screen time.  Continue reading “Details of the latest series of Tits and Dragons announced”

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