Tag: Social Media

Toilet Roll shortage leads to surge in demand for Piers Morgan’s Biography

As panic buying sets in and toilet roll is in short supply, sales of Piers Morgan’s Biography go through the roof.

With unscrupulous sellers raking in huge profits by increasing the price of loo roll, canny shoppers have been bulk buying Piers Morgan’s Biography, Living Like a C*&7! As an alternative.

That should see us through
Obvious when you think about

Jeremy Clarkson comes out as a Caravaneer

The latest celebrity to join the ‘coming out’ trend is Jeremy Clarkson, who stunned some people when he took to breakfast TV to publicly admitted his love of caravans.

In his statement, he revealed his life long passion for all things caravany. “It has always been an obsession of mine. When I was a kid I fell in love with the damn things, the way they swayed in a light breeze, let in the rain on a sunny day and held up all the traffic on the A303. Bliss!”

“It’s their beauty, elegance and complete uselessness that does it for” says JC

Prince William calls for more diversity, just not in his own family

Prince William calls for the working class to be more diverse by ensuring that entertainment industry awards reflect wider society. Without any hint of irony, the Prince castigated the audience for holding an award ceremony to reward rich white folks with limited talent.

Celebrating Diversity!
You’ve got to let in more of them!

Radio 4 to install walk-in fridge for politicians to hide in

The Government has announced that it is to stop appearing on any programme that asks hard questions.

Apparently, politicians are upset that journalists ask them questions about their jobs, areas of responsibility and running the country. “It’s not fair, I appeared on Radio 4 to talk about my cats and the presenter asked me lots of questions about Brexit, well, I couldn’t answer any of them, it was very embarrassing.” said one cabinet minister.

The Today programme on BBC Radio 4
You’re being mean to me!