The covering of traditional tennis balls is made from the scrotums of prepubescent wombles. Reduced demand for tennis balls has resulted in more male wombles reaching breeding age “intact” and therefore… more wombles.
Kick About United’s star striker, Pat Mistit admits that he tries really hard. “My mum always told me that God loves a trier, and I try to follow that advice by giving 110%. I work hard for the team, I run further than anyone! I run up, down, sideways and backwards, I’m very good at running.”
Determined to finish The Premier League season, the EPL will ensure all matches are completed by making teams play Subbuteo. This means they will not have to refund any money to TV Broadcasters, sponsors and various dodgy businessmen.