Tag: The Royal Family

Prince Harry granted asylum in Canada as he flees his angry Gran

Fleeing persecution from his angry Gran, Prince Harry has been granted political asylum in Canada.

It’s understood that Harry sneaked out of the country aboard a rubber dingy to Ireland, where, disguised as H from Steps, he was able to get on a flight to Canada.

Harry rowing a dingy
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream
One still owns CANADA

Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation

Prince Andrew’s personal protection squad has been withdrawn after terrorists claim he’s too toxic to bother with.

The Security Services provides personal protection when members of the Royal Household are considered ‘at risk’ from terrorist groups, or unstable members of the public. If an attack emanates from within the Royal Family they are, traditionally, left to their own devices. 

Why does nobody love me anymore?

Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling

Palace officials have confirmed that Her Majesty is “disappointed” at The Duke and Duchess of Sussex withdrawing from full-time Royalling.

The announcement of Harry and Meghan’s decision to give up their senior roles in the Firm and to seek their own route to financial independence, whilst splitting their time between the UK and North America, has led the world to speculate on how they might achieve this.

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Andy Handy carries on digging despite mummy taking away his shovel

Minor Royal, and noted arms industry representative, Prince Andrew gave an interview on BBC Newsnight about his relationship with close personal friend and nonce, Jeffrey Epstein. The objective was to clarify the exact nature of their relationship and to explain that, despite being a repeat visitor to Jeffrey’s many houses, a guest at his many parties and personally accused of sex with a minor, that he knew nothing of Jeff’s sex trafficking business.

I didn’t know anything about Jeffrey’s noncing says Andy Pandy