Tag: The Royal Family

£20,000 train ticket after Prince Charles used GWR’s On-Line booking site

The Royal Household’s annual budget came under scrutiny yet again today after it was revealed that the Prince of Wales had spent £20,000 on a train journey from London to Port Talbot.

It is understood that where the Prince would ordinarily allow his Private Secretary’s team to take care of such mundane matters, he was intrigued to have a go at booking a train ticket online himself, with expensive consequences.

One does ones best!

Harry and Meg’s kitchen makeover comes in at £2.4 million

Kitchen makeover

Harry and Meg’s kitchen makeover comes in at £2.4 million after Chris Grayling oversees the installation

Royal sycophants at the BBC and Daily Mail were left trying to justify why the Golden Couple can spend £2.4 million of tax-payers money on the renovation of their private residence, Frogmore Cottage.

However, their problems were solved after it emerged that the kitchen makeover project was given to Chris Grayling to handle.

It’s Chris Grayling, what did you expect?

Inside M25 declared a Milkshake free zone for Trump’s visit

Milkshake ban to protect Trump

The Met have declared that whilst Donald Trump is in town, the entire area inside the M25 is to be a Milkshake free zone.

They have confirmed this doesn’t only apply to Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla but any flavour of shake. Additionally anyone trying to get around the ban by freezing it and claiming it’s ice cream will be prosecuted. Continue reading “Inside M25 declared a Milkshake free zone for Trump’s visit”

BBC Correspondent almost spaff’ed to death after latest Royal Wedding

Another Royal Parade

The BBC’s Royal Correspondent, Ian Napton, is reportedly near death after yet another Royal Wedding.

Sources have revealed that the veteran broadcaster has expressed so much ejaculate whilst covering this year’s Weddings and Birth’s that he has almost no fluid left in his body. He exists as little more than a desiccated husk.
Continue reading “BBC Correspondent almost spaff’ed to death after latest Royal Wedding”

Prince Archie is part of the Royal Family’s long term plan to reclaim the colonies

Reclaim the colonies

The Royal Family have announced the birth of their latest progeny, Prince Archie. The nation rejoiced in welcoming yet another tax payer funded overlord.

As a British Royal, Archie is 7th in the line of succession to The Crown. His American mother also ensures his qualification to become President of the United States of America. Continue reading “Prince Archie is part of the Royal Family’s long term plan to reclaim the colonies”

Taxpayer stunned to indifference over the new Royal baby

Get that donw your neck

While congratulations have poured in from around the world for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on the birth of their son, the reaction at home has been low key by comparison.

Ian Napton, a commuter from Eastbourne and taxpayer, said, “This is going to cost the country money inevitably – money I’d rather see spent on making the railways work, the hospitals better funded, or even the potholes repaired in my street. I don’t really care about the Royals, if I’m honest. Princess Kate is quite pretty, I suppose. There’s no way that Hooray Henry of a husband of hers would have pulled her if he hadn’t been able to ask her if she fancied being the Queen.” Continue reading “Taxpayer stunned to indifference over the new Royal baby”

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