Tag: The Royal Family

Andy Handy carries on digging despite mummy taking away his shovel

Minor Royal, and noted arms industry representative, Prince Andrew gave an interview on BBC Newsnight about his relationship with close personal friend and nonce, Jeffrey Epstein. The objective was to clarify the exact nature of their relationship and to explain that, despite being a repeat visitor to Jeffrey’s many houses, a guest at his many parties and personally accused of sex with a minor, that he knew nothing of Jeff’s sex trafficking business.

I didn’t know anything about Jeffrey’s noncing says Andy Pandy

Civil War follows arrival of US Peacekeepers in Paradise

The United States, in search of an understandable foreign policy has sent peacekeeping troops into one of the World’s quietest and most stable countries.

The once peaceful Paradise has enjoyed a long history of mutually beneficial coexistence between people from differing ethnic and religious backgrounds. Largely untouched by Western Nations for the last hundred years it has been allowed to go on, untroubled, about its business.

Boom! Boom!

‘Awf with his head’ cries The Queen

Boris Johnson has been denounced “a cad and a scoundrel” by senior members of the Royal Household after he was found to have told fibs to Her Majesty The Queen. Big ones, too, the rotter.

Not letting his advancing years stop him in his tracks, the Duke of Edinburgh, arms firmly behind his back, angrily told Chatty, “He’s a bounder, a boor, he’s a lousy stinker. He’ll receive an audience again only when he presents his resignation. The weasel. He’s a complete oaf, you know.”

One’s not chuffin amused!

Boris Johnson’s apology template used again

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening , I deeply regret that it’s necessary for me to make a public apology after getting caught lying again.

Unfortunately, I have to announce that someone has discovered I’ve been a very naughty boy.

On this occasion I’d like to offer a full, an insincere apology, to The Queen/ my wife/my constituents/ the British People/The House of Commoners/ my wife again/my employer/my friends/my friends spouses/the wife’s friends husbands and finally my wife.

Be I ever so humble!