Tag: UK

Mark Francois to stand in for Boris Johnson

Following Boris Johnson’s positive test, Mark Francois is to be the next Prime Minister

Downing Street sources quickly identified the touchy-feely Boris Johnson as the super-spreader. Consequently, everyone he has had contact with has been isolated, including all cabinet ministers. Now, the search for a new leader is on.  

I always new my time would come, I’m ready to serve my country, where is my potato-peeler?

Bin man distresses middle-class shoppers by sneaking into Waitrose

Ian Napton, a Bin Man from Hastings managed to sneak into his local Waitrose, shocking their regular customers.

Waitrose Spokesman, Neil Jackson, said, “We would like to apologise to all of our customers for the presence of an unskilled manual worker in the store. We understand that some shoppers were disturbed by the experience. We would like to reassure our customers that we have increased security and don’t expect a repetition of this distressing behaviour.”

Trump scandal
He’s not getting in here!
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