Tag: UK

UK selects The Okey-Cokey as its entry into The Eurovision Song Contest

In one of the more definitive results, in a National Vote, Britain has overwhelmingly chosen The Okey-Cokey as its entry into the Eurovision Song Contest.

Beating off strong competition from such nostalgia pop as; The White Cliffs of Dover Car Park, by Failing Grayling; Rule Britannia by Little Dick and The Johnsons, and F U EU by controversial rappers, The Elite, The Okey-Cokey was the surprise winner of the People’s Vote. Continue reading “UK selects The Okey-Cokey as its entry into The Eurovision Song Contest”

Heads to roll at Amazon after receiving a £1.7 mill tax bill

Heads are expected to roll at the UK division of Amazon after an undetected internal accounting error meant that the company has become liable for UK Corporation Tax of £1.7m.

The company, which would have beaten Apple to the crown of “first $1trn company” nine years ago if it hadn’t been for its merciless tax mitigation department, is still ranked less profitable in the UK than Toys R Us, Maplin and Aunt Emily’s Corner Shop in Devizes.

Continue reading “Heads to roll at Amazon after receiving a £1.7 mill tax bill”

Pensioners pump out prescription pills to kids

The Government’s austerity measures mean cash strapped pensioners have turned to drug dealing to supplement their dwindling incomes and to allow them to buy essentials, such as; scones, cake, liniment and Werther’s Originals.

In increasing numbers, The Grey Mafia (AKA The Grafia or The Cosy Nostrum) have moved into the illegal drugs market. Ironically, showing the entrepreneurial spirit,  of which the Conservatives, are so proud. Continue reading “Pensioners pump out prescription pills to kids”

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