Tag: UK

Queen’s speech refers to Annus Horribilis II but which annus does she mean?

Britons have shrugged their collective shoulders at the prospect that one of the Queen’s overprivileged sons may have shagged a teenager who was groomed by a high profile businessman who was subsequently convicted of that sort of thing and committed suicide in jail.

Annus Horribilis II, as Pizza waiter emroigled in sex scandal

Have you been mis-sold a Brexit? You may have a claim!

Have you spent countless hours in pointless Brexit debates? Did your friends and relatives desert you? How come you managed to enrage complete strangers with, or without provocation? Were you injured or distressed as a result of arguing about something you only had half the facts for? Admit it, you typed messages in BLOCK CAPITALS, didn’t you?

Are your friends as sick of Brexit as you are? Did you vote Brexit and not really expect anything to change? Or, Did you vote remain and spend the last three years toting about an over-inflated sense of educational and moral superiority?

Where there is blame there is a claim!

EU delay response to Boris as they disagree on how to tell him to F*ck Off

The EU has delayed the response to Boris Johnson’s proposals for a Withdrawal Agreement, as they cannot agree on the best way to tell him to Fuck Off.

All 27 nations are united in agreeing that his proposals were a publicity stunt in the first place and that he was never serious about coming to an agreement. However, they have become divided as to how to tell him to do one.

Here pal, do one!

Flatmates force Scotland to Move Out in row over living arrangements

Insider reports suggest that Scotland has finally had enough and is packing her bags. The news comes after Scotland’s First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, boldly declared on Sky News that “This Brexit thing is pure shite and I canny be arsed with it. We’re all just moving out.”

This report comes after Ms Sturgeon notified UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson in the WhatsApp group that she was “a bit peeved” about the Brexit living conditions.

It’s just pish, pish and more pish with him!

Trump to ban cakes made with a Mother’s Love as trade war escalates

Donald Trump is to ban cakes made with love in retaliation for the exclusion of chlorine washed chicken.

The row is undermining the future US-UK trade deal. Regarding the UK as very vulnerable, the American President was hoping to off load any old shite on to the UK market. However, when our politicians balked at trying to sell rotting chicken to British shoppers The Trumpster was furious.

More tea Vicar!