Ivor The Engine is to come out of retirement, it has been announced, along with his driver, Jones The Steam.
Following the government’s announcement on HS2, Welsh MPs have vociferously complained that the proposed route, from London to the Midlands and onward to the North, excludes Wales altogether, so they’ve decided to be ahead of the game on HS3, which will run from Caernarfon to Rhyl.
Opponents of Tory General Election candidate Francesca O’Brien have given up hope of being elected.
Lib Dem candidate, Ian Napton, told us, “What chance do we have against this sort of Tory talent. She goes around saying benefits claimants need to be put down and shameless Tories everywhere will come out and vote for her. It’s just the kind of bigoted nonsense every Daily Mail reader wants to hear. She’ll get a massive majority. There’s really no point in me standing against her.”