Tag: Wales

Government opens up HS3, a chuffing service from Caernarfon to Rhyl

Ivor The Engine is to come out of retirement, it has been announced, along with his driver, Jones The Steam.

Following the government’s announcement on HS2, Welsh MPs have vociferously complained that the proposed route, from London to the Midlands and onward to the North, excludes Wales altogether, so they’ve decided to be ahead of the game on HS3, which will run from Caernarfon to Rhyl.

HS3 – The Welsh Musket Train going flat out
Come on Ivor, you can do it!

Tory wins seat after saying “Benefit claimants should be put down!”

Opponents of Tory General Election candidate Francesca O’Brien have given up hope of being elected.

Lib Dem candidate, Ian Napton, told us, “What chance do we have against this sort of Tory talent. She goes around saying benefits claimants need to be put down and shameless Tories everywhere will come out and vote for her. It’s just the kind of bigoted nonsense every Daily Mail reader wants to hear. She’ll get a massive majority. There’s really no point in me standing against her.”

Daily MAIL HAILS NEW QUEEN

Brexit Is A F*cking Circus And We’re In The Cheap Seats, Says Wales

England’s shy flatmate Wales announces that it feels “defeated’ after Thursday’s announcement that Scotland is evicting itself from the UK and Northern Ireland is paying less rent.

Michael Cooper, spokesperson for the Welsh Government said on Tuesday, “We’re beginning to feel a little forgotten about. Westminster isn’t even giving us the Netflix password anymore.”

fRIENDS FLAT SHARE ENDS IN CHAOS!