“It was horrible, I felt a bit of a sniffle and had a couple of sneezes and that was it, I was done in. Of course I immediately took to my bed, armed with nothing more than a couple of good books, my mobile, the laptop, the TV Remote and a Classic Car magazine. There was no telling how long I was going to be off my feet, I thought I was going to die.”
In a bid to increase efficiency, South London Mum decides to throw the entire Christmas food shop, straight into the bin, plies each of her children with a box of celebrations, then quietly quaffs gin in the kitchen.
Uproar was caused at the A.N.Y office party, following an alleged assault to a middle-aged man’s dignity.
Events unfolded following the onslaught of a free bar and insubstantial canapes. Whilst Chumbawamba was in full swing on the dancefloor, Robin from accounts, dressed as Santa, offered to show Anna from H.R his grinding. Alarmingly, she retorted ‘Get lost Grandpa!’, causing widespread guffawing and a distinctive dent to his ego.
Due to an unfortunate spelling error, Harrods has accidently hired Satan, Lord of Evil, Devourer of Worlds and Harvester of Souls to dish out the Christmas presents to all the little children and to put the grot into grotto.
Unfortunately the mistake happened when a dyslexic intern was charged with booking Santa and his little helpers. When the agency returned the contracts, she didn’t realise they’d mis-spelled Santa, and they’d contractually booked Satan.