President Trump bans Tic-Tac-Toe

Following a humiliating defeat to the 7-year-old Tic-Tac-Toe wunderkind, Billy-Bob Napton, The President reacted badly.

I get extra points for being so good, says El Presidente

Wombles run rampant on Wimbledon Common

Womble numbers are rapidly increasing after the cancellation of the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament reduced the demand for tennis balls.

The covering of traditional tennis balls is made from the scrotums of prepubescent wombles. Reduced demand for tennis balls has resulted in more male wombles reaching breeding age “intact” and therefore… more wombles.

New Balls Please

“I give 110%, but it turns out I am shite!” says Professional Footballer

Kick About United’s star striker, Pat Mistit admits that he tries really hard. “My mum always told me that God loves a trier, and I try to follow that advice by giving 110%. I work hard for the team, I run further than anyone! I run up, down, sideways and backwards, I’m very good at running.”

but they still won the league!