Following COBRA’s emergency ‘Milkshake Menace’ meeting, the SAS are to test Milkshakes tactical effectiveness under battle conditions.
As the number of Milkshakings have increased our brave politicians have had first-hand experience of Milkshakes offensive capabilities. The recent spate of attacks have left some rich politicians with a dry-cleaning bill running into pounds. Continue reading “SAS to test lethal Milkshakes under battle conditions”
Senior Tory MP’s found themselves in disarray last night after realising they would need to thank Jeremy Corbyn for the break down in talks with Theresa May.
Many senior Tory MP’s have been apoplectic with rage since The Prime Minister announced that she was willing to discuss joining forces with Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party to try and get a Brexit deal through Parliament. Continue reading “Brexiteer Tories forced to thank Jeremy Corbyn after he does them a solid”
A milkshake is being treated for post traumatic shock, after it inadvertently became covered in fascist.
Whilst going about it’s daily routine, the Newcastle milkshake unwittingly became embroiled in a street altercation, as part of a protest against an individual, purporting to be a politician. Continue reading “Milkshake suffers PTSD after being covered in fascist”
The BBC’s Royal Correspondent, Ian Napton, is reportedly near death after yet another Royal Wedding.
Sources have revealed that the veteran broadcaster has expressed so much ejaculate whilst covering this year’s Weddings and Birth’s that he has almost no fluid left in his body. He exists as little more than a desiccated husk.
Continue reading “BBC Correspondent almost spaff’ed to death after latest Royal Wedding”
Leave voters everywhere are indignant at the latest outrage they are convinced evil Remainers are behind, the scrapping of The Jeremy Kyle Show.
Speaking from behind his copy of The Daily Mail, Barry Gammon fumed, “It’s the PC Brigade gone mad. Just because someone topped himself after Jeremy caught him out playing away, the rest of us miss out on our morning entertainment. ITV should stand up to the naysayers.” Continue reading “Critics claim it’s ‘PC gone mad’ after Jeremy Kyle show cancelled”
A Highgate headteacher has horrified pushy parents, by threatening to withdraw the coveted school award system.
As the steady stream of parents regularly protesting increased, if their child failed to be nominated, Mr Targett felt he was ‘left with little choice.’ Continue reading “Pushy Parents angered after Headmaster cancels school award system”