Prince Harry granted asylum in Canada as he flees his angry Gran

Fleeing persecution from his angry Gran, Prince Harry has been granted political asylum in Canada.

It’s understood that Harry sneaked out of the country aboard a rubber dingy to Ireland, where, disguised as H from Steps, he was able to get on a flight to Canada.

Harry rowing a dingy
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream
One still owns CANADA

The NRA send thoughts and prayers to victims of America’s latest mass shooting at (The: school/shopping centre/church/hospital/community centre) in (state/town/city)

Right-thinking members of the NRA are tonight sending their thoughts and prayers to the victims of America’s latest mass shooting(s) at (insert location/s)

Billy Bob Williams, on behalf of the NRA, immediately held a mentally ill person who would’ve done it anyway, responsible. And he was probably (insert specific non-white ethnicity, gender or sexuality), wasn’t he?

More Thoughts and Prayers

Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation

Prince Andrew’s personal protection squad has been withdrawn after terrorists claim he’s too toxic to bother with.

The Security Services provides personal protection when members of the Royal Household are considered ‘at risk’ from terrorist groups, or unstable members of the public. If an attack emanates from within the Royal Family they are, traditionally, left to their own devices. 

Why does nobody love me anymore?